08/25/2026
🚨 CASE CLOSED. 🚨
Grover had a good run. Two seasons of tomato theft, trespassing and general garden mayhem.
Then the DeerBusters fence went up.
We’re happy to report that in the battle of Grover vs. the garden fence… DeerBusters won. 🏆🦌🌱
The tomatoes can finally sleep peacefully at night. 🍅😂
Thanks to The Gorham Homestead for putting our fence to the ultimate test, and for taking us along for the ride!
WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE
Grover (Fugitive)
For two straight garden seasons, I have attempted to grow a garden.
For those same two garden seasons, my hard work has been absolutely decimated by one furry criminal.
At first, I wasn’t sure what was happening. I thought maybe squirrels… chipmunks… maybe even deer. So I surrounded my garden with some unused electric poultry netting. I couldn’t charge it, but I figured if one layer was good, then two had to be better.
I thought I was brilliant.
The very next morning, I walked down to check my garden and there they were again… beautiful, ripe tomatoes with exactly one bite taken out of each one. The rest were left lying on the ground like the calling card of a serial killer.
I was beside myself.
I looked around but didn’t see anything. Then I noticed a trail through the grass where something much bigger than a squirrel had crossed toward the woods. Whatever it was had slipped in and out without alerting even the dogs… (two Great Pyrenees whose full-time job is protecting the chickens and patrolling the property at night).
Whoever this criminal was… he was good.
I decided I was going to catch him in the act.
The next morning, I got up before daylight and quietly made my way toward the garden. The sun was just beginning to creep over the hills as I tiptoed through the wet grass.
Then I saw it.
The green bean plants were moving.
Not blowing in the wind…
Moving.
Something was in there.
I slowly stepped over the poultry netting and eased toward the row, not knowing what I was about to find.
That’s when I spotted him.
A huge, furry groundhog.
We locked eyes.
I screamed.
I’m pretty sure he screamed too.
Then, just like that, he disappeared into the tall grass beside the garden. Gone.
By the time I got to the edge of the woods, all I could see was his fuzzy backside disappearing into the darkness.
Ladies and gentlemen…
Meet Grover.
This little outlaw kept up his reign of terror for weeks.
By the end of the summer, I looked like an absolute lunatic. Shotgun in one hand. Handgun on my hip. Marching around the garden like I was preparing for combat.
I set traps.
I left the dogs out longer.
I even tried grape bubble gum because somebody on the internet swore it was the ultimate weapon against groundhogs. Even my mama said so…
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing worked.
Every morning there were more tomatoes with one bite missing… just enough to remind me who was really in charge.
I’m absolutely convinced Grover lives somewhere under the pile of old concrete along the wooded tree line in front of our house. The perfect hideout for a career criminal.
He outsmarted me every single time.
But this year…
This year I built a wall. Well…Kael actually put it up. I just checked on him occasionally. 🙃
An eight-foot DeerBusters fence now surrounds the entire row garden. It has two walk-through gates, one drive-through gate, and it’s secured tight to the ground.
I’m even considering installing tiny little defense cannons across the top that fire pre-chewed grape bubble gum.
We’re not messing around anymore.
So, Grover…
Enjoy that last tomato.
Savor every
Single.
Bite.
Because your days of free produce are officially numbered.
🚨WANTED 🚨
Grover
Species: Groundhog
Charges: Criminal trespassing, destruction of property, serial tomato mutilation, and evading capture.
Last Seen: The Gorham Homestead Row Garden
Stay tuned to see who wins this year’s battle… Grover or the new DeerBusters garden fence. One of us is about to lose. 😄
