01/24/2026
❄️🚨 SNOWSTORM WARNING: THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🚨❄️
From the Waterloo Marshal’s Department
Attention Waterloo:
A snowstorm is on the way, which means the roads will be slick, visibility will be low, and someone will confidently say “I’ve got four-wheel drive” right before proving they do not.
Let’s review, shall we:
❄️ Snow is cute. Ice is a felony waiting to happen.
🚙 Four-wheel drive helps you go faster toward the ditch. It does nothing for stopping.
🛑 “I’ll just tap the brakes” is not a winter driving strategy.
⏰ Leave early. If you’re late, the snow does not care and neither does gravity.
If you don’t need to drive, stay home. Your couch has never spun out, rear-ended anyone, or required a crash report.
If you do go out, slow down, leave extra space, and assume every other driver is making their worst decision of the day right in front of you.
Let’s all get through this storm without exchanging insurance information or meeting each other professionally.
Stay safe. Stay warm. Stay out of the ditch.
— Waterloo Marshal’s Department 🚓❄️