22/06/2026
FATHER’S DAY SUNDAY SHOUT OFF
Welcome back, Mt. Pleasant. It is Father’s Day. The grills are hot, the cargo shorts are plentiful, and dads across America are pretending they don’t want anything while quietly hoping someone bought them a new tool.
Let’s get into it.
—
“What’s going on with that reflecting pool in D.C.? The paint is peeling and it’s turning green.”
The Current Regime spent millions repainting the reflecting pool because apparently the previous water was insufficiently reflective.
Now the darker paint is peeling, the water is turning green, and the whole thing looks less like a national monument and more like the retention pond behind a strip mall in August.
Scientists will probably explain it with things like temperature, sunlight, algae growth, and water chemistry.
We prefer a simpler explanation.
The pool saw what was happening in Washington and decided to match the vibe.
—
“Where can I find the best ice cream around here?”
A Father’s Day question if there ever was one.
Nothing says “dad outing” like standing in line for ice cream while insisting you only wanted a small cone and then ordering something large enough to qualify as a meal.
Asking for the best ice cream in Central Michigan is a dangerous game. Entire families have stopped speaking over less.
Everyone has a favorite. Everyone is convinced they’re right. And nobody is changing their mind.
The only thing we know for sure is that dads everywhere will somehow manage to get ice cream on their shirt before the day is over.
—
“When is the next Ric’s Meat sale? Also, where is the hunky meat man?”
Now we’re talking Father’s Day.
While some dads dream of golf outings or fancy dinners, others hear the words “meat sale” and immediately cancel all prior commitments.
For years, local residents have tracked Ric’s sales with a level of dedication normally reserved for weather forecasts and sports championships.
And yes, reports continue to circulate regarding sightings of the legendary hunky meat man.
Some say he appears only during exceptional sales.
Others claim he can be summoned by purchasing enough bratwurst.
Like many local legends, the truth remains elusive.
—
And finally, a Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, stepdads, grandpas, father figures, and men who have spent years teaching important life lessons like:
“Don’t touch that.”
“I said don’t touch that.”
“See? That’s why I said don’t touch that.”
May your grills stay hot, your naps remain uninterrupted, and your children remember that the answer to “What do you want for Father’s Day?” was never actually “nothing.”
—
That’s it. Three shouts.
One algae-filled monument.
One ice cream debate.
One meat sale mystery.
And one day for the dads.
Same town.
Same shouting.
