05/28/2026
HELLO FUTURE SERVANT—I mean FAMILY.
My name is Starburst, and I am an 11-12 week old female kitten currently accepting applications for a full-time personal assistant. Duties include feeding me, admiring me, and telling me I’m pretty approximately 47 times a day.
I came to the shelter with my mom and siblings, but unlike some of them, I have STAR POWER. It’s honestly exhausting being this adorable all the time, but somehow I manage.
My hobbies include:
• launching surprise attacks on unsuspecting shoelaces
• parkour off the furniture
• staring at absolutely nothing at 3am
• sprinting through the house like I just remembered taxes are due
• collapsing into a nap two seconds later
The shelter staff says I’m your “typical playful kitten,” but I prefer the term “tiny furry entertainment system.”
I’ve been hanging out here waiting to be old enough for my big girl surgery, and next week I’ll officially be:
• spayed
• vaccinated
• microchipped
• fully prepared to redecorate your home with toys you’ll trip over barefoot
My adoption fee is SPONSORED and reduced to just $40.
For forty dollars you get unlimited comedy, emotional support, and a professional biscuit maker who occasionally bites your toes for fun. That’s value.
If you’re interested in meeting me, your future queen of chaos, please call to schedule an appointment:
256-362-5856
Serious inquiries only. I cannot continue living in these conditions where people expect me to share attention with other kittens.