09/14/2026
THE GREAT TOILET PAPER INCIDENT OF 2026
Friends.
I thought it was funny.
Jenn did not.
Apparently when your pantry is COMPLETELY OUT of toilet paper and paper towels, pretending you TP’d the entire building is considered “poor timing.”
Who knew?
Before anyone panics: NO ACTUAL TOILET PAPER WAS HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS PHOTO. We don't have any to harm. THAT IS THE PROBLEM.
So, Honk Herd, I need your help before Jenn figures out how to put a porch goose in time-out.
We are in serious need of toilet paper and paper towels for our pantry. These are things our shoppers need, they’re expensive to buy, and they’re items we don’t regularly get through our food sources.
If you’re out shopping this week and can toss an extra package of toilet paper or paper towels in your cart for FISH, this goose would be VERY grateful.
Mostly because our humans need them.
Slightly because I would like Jenn to stop looking at me like that.
Please help me refill the shelves and get back into the Executive Director’s good graces.
Again: the photo is fake. The empty shelves are VERY real.
Make good choices.
Apparently better choices than I made.
Haddock