08/24/2026
I have prided myself on building strong and collaborative relationships with my students over 23 years in the classroom. Some teachers struggle with this and need coaching. A school and school district cannot excuse their responsibilities of supporting students and teachers. You can’t have one without the other. One of our most important missions is prepare students for future success. Excusing poor behavior does not do that. WSFCS can and must do much better.
🤬 STOP ASKING TEACHERS TO “BUILD A RELATIONSHIP” WITH THE KID WHO JUST THREW A CHAIR AT THEM.
Teachers are told to build relationships so often that schools now use it like a magical response to everything.
Student refuses to work, build a relationship.
Student curses you out, build a relationship.
Student destroys the classroom, build a relationship.
Student throws a chair at you, build a relationship.
Enough.
Relationship building is not a substitute for consequences.
It is not the answer to violence.
It is not some cute educational cure all that fixes every situation if the teacher just smiles harder and connects deeper.
Teachers are human beings.
And some of them are being expected to return to work the next day and keep “building a relationship” with the same student who just scared the hell out of them or physically put them in danger.
That’s not support.
That’s gaslighting with school jargon.
It takes a lot of nerve to tell a teacher to focus on connection when the school won’t even focus on protection.
You cannot preach safety, respect, and restorative practices while basically telling teachers to emotionally rehab a student who just crossed a line that should have never been minimized in the first place.
At some point, the profession has to stop dressing up cowardice as compassion.
Not every serious behavior issue is a relationship problem.
Sometimes it is a consequence problem.
Sometimes it is a safety problem.
Sometimes it is a parenting problem.
Sometimes it is a system problem.
But schools keep putting it all back on the teacher because “build a relationship” sounds better than admitting they are asking people to tolerate things that should never be normalized.
Signed,
Elle
Former teacher. Current Corporate Learning Manager and Teacher Transition Coach who is sick of schools using trendy buzzwords to avoid doing the hard thing.
