12/17/2023
My (F33) little sister (F28) is inviting my ex fiancé (M32) and the women (F22) he cheated on me with to her wedding. He left me homeless, s*xually assaulted me and was abusive during the 12 year relationship.
This means I will not be attending. My other family members are horrified at her decision and are not attending either. I feel betrayed and heartbroken by my sister. I don't understand how she could do this.
I was (F32) with my ex fiance (M31) for over 12 years.
3 years ago we moved house for his work. This was 200 miles away from my family.
We couldnt sell our house, so to afford the new rental near his work, we rented out the house we owned in my home town.
Moving day came, my family helped us move the whole of the house contents, all my possessions, my pets everything to the new place. I unloaded the van and went straight back to my hometown to get my house ready for the tenant. I cleaned it all, and made sure the repairs were done and then the day the tenant moved in my ex-fiancé broke up with me via text.
I had no home. He banned me from the new rental, a tenant was now in the home I owned. My pets and belongings were gone. I was heartbroken and distraught.
I later found out he had been cheating on me for a while with a friend he told me he "Sees as a sister." This girl was always over our house. I thought she was my friend. This was his cowardly plan to get the move sorted and house rented and break up from a far.
After being distanced and the initial heartbreak worked through, I began to realise how abusive he had been. I had let a lot slide. He had been diagnosed with a condition that meant he could die at any moment. So anything abusive he did I excused or didn't make a fuss of. He would use his diagnosis when it was convenient to get his way.
He would throw things at me because it made him laugh. Anything we did was his choice. He wouldn't let me have friends over. He would enjoy seeing me cry, to get this reaction he would often play the music he had picked for his funeral. If i was ever sick he'd be angry with me. He would make fun of my weight every day, jabbing me. He would do this in public too. He would grab any part of my body whenever he pleased no matter how much i asked him to stop. Towards the end of the relationship, there were times when s*x was incredibly painful, I would cry and ask him to stop. He didn't. After the breakup I asked him why he did this. He said he "Got carried away."
My sister knows all of this. She had zero sympathy. When I told her about the s*xual assault she said "Why would you try to ruin a good man's name?" After that we didn't speak for a while.
When she broke up with her fiancé (they broke up multiple times) she behaved as if she understood me and sympathised with what had happened. She also said she no longer had contact with my ex. We started speaking again and became close.
She then got back with her fiancé.
This guy has been violent towards her, thrown her out the house multiple times, takes M**A, and beats my sister. He's put cameras in their house so he could see if she had guests over.
My family has tried their best to help her. We each have given her a place to go to to build her life again, but she has gone back to him each time. And this time they are planning a wedding and is now pregnant.
My sister grew up knowing my ex. She was 13 when they met and she saw him like a brother. My fiancé always said she was a loser and an idiot behind her back. But he was always nice to her face. I would defend her each time. He also would say to me "if I wanted to hurt you I'd sleep with your sister."
I believed her when she said she no longer was in contact with my ex. Turns out that was a lie. She's carried on having contact with him the whole time.
By inviting my ex and his affair partner, she knows this means I will not attend. The rest of our immediate family are also not attending because of this.
I just don't understand her. I'm just so hurt, sad, and heartbroken.
