08/12/2016
Insight into the positive outcome of counseling.
(3/3) “It wasn’t every second of every day. But sometimes I’d get this boiling feeling like there was mercury in my blood. And it would rise up into my head and I’d get so angry it was like I was going to explode. And all I could think of was worst-case scenarios. And it felt like there was no way out. I’d work myself into such a frenzy that I thought there was only one way to eliminate that feeling. And I’ve already lost seven veterans that I know to su***de. Two of them were very close to me. These were educated guys. And they seemed happy. You’d meet them, and think: ‘These guys are so great.’ And I knew if it could happen to them it could happen to me. So I came here and I started unpacking this s**t. It was a lot of work. The therapist just guides the conversation. You have to dig up stuff you thought you’d packed away forever. And you have to answer questions that you never answered. It’s exhausting to go that deep. But it works. I feel like I’m in control again. I know my triggers. I don’t flip out. I don’t send inappropriate emails at work when I feel slighted. I still have bad days but I’m in control again. I was afraid therapy would cause me to lose my edge. That didn’t happen. It made me stronger. It’s like gym for the mind. And I don’t want to lose one more veteran. That's why I'm telling my story right now. I don’t want anyone to be afraid to look under the hood. Therapy is like Men’s Wearhouse: ‘Give it a try. You’ll like the way you look. I guarantee it.’”
