05/04/2026
If you are also on the life-long path of grief after bearing such a loss, I am here.
I understand.
I have felt every angry thought. I have felt the emptiness.
The day my daughter's life was stolen from her, was also the day that I could have sworn to you, that my heart was going to give out. My youngest should have her big sister with her, here.
My world had shifted.
I can truly say that I have never felt something so weighing, so soul-crushing, mind-altering, worst nightmare come to true, no reason to go on anymore feeling.
“Bereaved” isn't even hitting it.
“Devastated”, even worse.
There is no single word in the English language that can depict such depravity.
I don't enjoy being an advocate, this wasn't my dream. I didn't want to spend the majority of my time fighting against distracted driving.
I just wanted to be a mom. I wanted to be a makeup artist. I wanted to be a writer, a painter, a tattoo artist. I had so many things that were so important to me, that became nothing. Not worth even a second look.
For years I did this, for a while it does seem like people get into these habits. Then all of a sudden it's 4 years later, and I've spent my every moment losing a little bit more of me.
I want to tell you, the guilt you feel about enjoying life again — doesn't really go away. I know it hard to grasp it, but they would want us to do things we truly enjoy. It doesn't appease them in anyway to lose ourselves because of their loss. Then our lives would be wasted because they are gone. I wouldn't want that on my back, even if I was gone.
It's not moving on, it's carrying them with us. It's unfair, and it shouldn't be like this.
If you feel like no one else understands, I do. 💛