06/23/2026
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ATTENTION FT. DESOTO RAMP CAPTAINS!!!!!
To no one's recollection there has not been a vessel safety check blitz at the Ft. DeSoto ramps. That ends on June 27th. Gulfport 7-16 will be there conducting Vessel Exams all day, from 8 to after 5. Its free, its informative, and it only takes about 15 minutes.
We have posted serious reasons to get your vessel examined, now for some humorous reasons:
1. To test your nerves on land first – Before the waves test your stomach, test your knowledge of life jackets, fire extinguishers, and navigation lights.
2. To impress your friends – “Oh, you have a boat? Well, I have a vessel safety exam certificate. Respect.”
3. To find hidden treasure onboard – During inspections, you might discover that missing can of Sprite or long-lost fishing tackle.
4. To practice your pirate accent – Answer quiz questions with a hearty “Arrr!” for extra points in style.
5. To avoid being talked to by the Coast Guard in front of witnesses – Nothing ruins a sunny day like an unexpected lecture on expired flares.
6. To secretly judge other boats – Examinees get to peek aboard neighbor boats and mentally rate decor, cleanliness, and snack choices.
7. To count all the life jackets, because why not? – It’s a fun math challenge with high stakes: “Two more jackets needed … or risk being the punchline of a dolphin joke.”
8. To finally justify buying that “Vessel Safety Manual” – It’s been sitting on your shelf for months; now it has purpose.
9. To claim the title of “Boat Genius” – Impressively list all navigation rules, horn signals, and knot-tying skills at your next party.
10. To avoid real emergencies in style – Because nothing says humor like being scolded by seagulls while fumbling with a life preserver.
