09/14/2026
A child who repeatedly hears “You’re not good enough,” “You always get it wrong,” or “Why can’t you be like them?” may eventually stop hearing the criticism as something they did—and start believing it is who they are.
What can parents do instead?
Correct the behaviour, not the child.
Say, “That was not the right choice,” rather than “You are careless.”
Replace comparison with encouragement.
Compare a child with their own previous effort, not with another child.
Praise effort and progress.
“You worked hard on this” can build resilience more than simply praising results.
Listen before lecturing.
Sometimes a child needs understanding before they can accept correction.
Give criticism a purpose.
Ask yourself: “Will what I am about to say help my child grow, or am I simply releasing my frustration?”
Make love unmistakable.
A child should never have to earn the right to feel worthy of love.
The goal of parenting isn't to raise children who are afraid of making mistakes.
It is to raise people who can make mistakes, learn from them, and still believe they are worthy.
