Center for Cretaceous Studies

Center for Cretaceous Studies The World's Only Live Dinosaur Research Institution I say ‘somehow’ because we all make misteaks. And they're ALL carnivores. How'd we do this? See Ya Soon!

Decades before the world learned of live dinosaurs via Hollywood blockbuster movies, a group of nincompoops working in a research lab outside of Chicago somehow cracked the prehistoric DNA codes. Since that day we’ve been running from… uh, that is, researching... live, carnivorous dinosaurs. Herbivores are for people with reasons to live. Welcome to THE CENTER FOR CRETACEOUS STUDIES, pal! Our scie

ntists, using the term loosely, utilize the very latest in research and discovery in paleontology then proceed to screw it all up. This is not just a nature business. And it’s not just science fiction. In fact, it’s barely science at all. This is more like "Jurassic Park" meets "The Office", a tongue-in-cheek look at what would happen if Michael Crichton's vision was successfully undertaken by morons. COME VISIT US via the internet! You'll discover the daily routine at your everyday, run-of-the-mill, live dinosaur research institution along with several tips (like, don't ever visit a place housing live dinosaurs). Have a laugh or a giggle or a chortle or a snicker or a guffaw! A book about this dump, uh, I mean... fantastic, live dinosaur research institute, is nearing completion with a possible screenplay to follow. Hopefully someone will burn both before they are unleashed upon you, the unsuspecting public. btw: in case you haven't figured this out yet, the Center for Cretaceous Studies and everything associated with it is glaringly FICTIONAL.

Our just-repaired.. er, updated DinoWatch/DinoAlert! forecast and warning studio - or the DWDAFWS as we call it around h...
08/20/2023

Our just-repaired.. er, updated DinoWatch/DinoAlert! forecast and warning studio - or the DWDAFWS as we call it around here (pronounced ummm... aw, forget it) - is back on the air. Remember, you can get the latest in DinoAlert!s for only $1.50 at kiosks located throughout The Center.

You'd think this would be the Control Room for things like electronic gates, security door locks, hallway cameras, Perim...
07/22/2023

You'd think this would be the Control Room for things like electronic gates, security door locks, hallway cameras, Perimeter Fence surveillance... but no. It's just Bob making sure all the vending machines are still plugged in.

Looks like someone tried to use a credit card to buy tickets, upsetting Cashier #3.
07/17/2023

Looks like someone tried to use a credit card to buy tickets, upsetting Cashier #3.

A RARE SIGHT INDEED! A group of tourists arrive via submarine at the same time another group of tourists leave via CFI C...
07/02/2023

A RARE SIGHT INDEED! A group of tourists arrive via submarine at the same time another group of tourists leave via CFI Care Life Flight helicopter!

You think that voice is bad on your ears? Our researchers are convinced this is the best deterrent from Dino attacks sin...
06/10/2023

You think that voice is bad on your ears? Our researchers are convinced this is the best deterrent from Dino attacks since they tried collecting T. rex p*e. (RIP Don Dewitt)

Following numerous complaints about "backseat drivers" saying "I told you so" when it comes to taking a different route,...
05/27/2023

Following numerous complaints about "backseat drivers" saying "I told you so" when it comes to taking a different route, The Center has decided to eliminate our Car Pool Program.

Well, there's Larry, once again proving he doesn't know very much. Hey, at least today he didn't wear his shirt inside-o...
05/20/2023

Well, there's Larry, once again proving he doesn't know very much. Hey, at least today he didn't wear his shirt inside-out. If it wasn't for his Sea Bass recipe, we would have fired him a long time ago.

This past Friday HR made the mistake of announcing, "Anyone wishing to work overtime is welcome to do so." This was the ...
03/26/2023

This past Friday HR made the mistake of announcing, "Anyone wishing to work overtime is welcome to do so." This was the NorthEast Employee Emergency Exit - 48 lanes down to a single lane dirt road - at 5:04pm.

CAUGHT ON CAMERA... the moment former (if you know what we mean) Center for Cretaceous Studies DinoHandler (4th Class) R...
03/19/2023

CAUGHT ON CAMERA... the moment former (if you know what we mean) Center for Cretaceous Studies DinoHandler (4th Class) Ron Lykell discovers that music may calm the savage beast, but reading only makes them hungry.
Honor his 2.5-hour career at The Center by purchasing a copy of what might some day be called the greatest book ever written about live carnivore dinosaur research. Eh, maybe. Use the Code "Lykell" or "Idiot" when purchasing to receive 0% off the purchase price!
Get your eBook copy or paperback from AuthorHouse at: https://www.authorhouse.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/730124-The-Center-for-Cretaceous-Studies?fbclid=IwAR32Y514H1WunpqA-AEnlvH0705EYXT8oAJGPxtEuvghDiiX0k8RviskgkM
OR paperback from Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/Center-Cretaceous-Studies-Dr-Beckmann/dp/1504971868/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=The%20Center%20for%20Cretaceous%20Studies&qid=1617763710&s=books&sr=1-1&fbclid=IwAR2zRBDeS1urfhbepd0tYpjcC9kIw0Gn9p7ZhMt7i9jV1aak47gCN2iAJI8
OR paperback from eBay at: https://www.ebay.com/itm/195385067230?epid=246212321&hash=item2d7ddb86de%3Ag%3AySMAAOSwfypjNuTT&amdata=enc%3AAQAHAAAAwFIWtNOS8pmnCCCcIh%2BOF6BKoyAWYopRsoqyFOupNhkGbmLgy6byfJaAL908UwHjkj1GKTZyfEPkQkzCh3tq95jArvOljtd8deGGKHKrrIaREsgJ7vUGYabvwz6xF9%2BdiDErDk1AaoeoV4pYcfwHh%2FzI5utrLE7JxqDDpiR0FH8X3R6bjiSRO4%2FqfG9cXqazTWdlmETEBb8nxrXk0FMMqOtOVQExjlM72WlVTHZm7dkjRKsof52XR8m1QHthiIw%2BDg%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR6CV_OifYQ&fbclid=IwAR2sgpzKI4SczAP7MtiT3nB5DdVBa3xHbSHsv9i8CvVfFn_8yvQzZxpc14w
OR paperback from BetterWorld Books at: https://www.betterworldbooks.com/product/detail/the-center-for-cretaceous-studies-9781504971867?fbclid=IwAR2sgpzKI4SczAP7MtiT3nB5DdVBa3xHbSHsv9i8CvVfFn_8yvQzZxpc14w
OR paperback from Goodreads at: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29458300-the-center-for-cretaceous-studies?fbclid=IwAR0yTa4Ey9lhW2PurrBuE1zXM-DhlRbsesISgrJrPluTXThYsn6-Dsi2SUI
OR paperback from Google Books at: https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Center_for_Cretaceous_Studies.html?id=pUC2jwEACAAJ&fbclid=IwAR2b4FeS_G7bFn_lbYSWCe2WSU0qo90iN7C0lpaaPFTQGWOCv8QspQJMqGQ

Well, they ate another pizza delivery guy.
03/19/2023

Well, they ate another pizza delivery guy.

TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT!The 2023 Golden Dinos! Once again the big event will be held at The Horseshoe Road Inn. Owner M...
03/12/2023

TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT!
The 2023 Golden Dinos! Once again the big event will be held at The Horseshoe Road Inn. Owner Mick Strinks reminds all party-attendees: "Do NOT park in the #@!* swimming pool!!" Due to last year's event we are rolling out brand new carpeting! Open bar is 8:00:12 to 8:00:58. Who will win Scream Of The Year? Will anyone win back-to-back Employee Of The Year (did any of last year's winners make it through the year?!?)? Very tight races in DinoHandler Of The Year and DinoFeeder Of The Year categories. As promised, the In Memoriam tribute will not last more than 2 hours this year. Host Oscar Ruitt says he has brand new jokes, but that's what he said the last 3 years.
Open to current and former employees only.

Building K's ReConstruction team will do everything they can to reunite you with your lost pet.
03/04/2023

Building K's ReConstruction team will do everything they can to reunite you with your lost pet.

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