04/21/2026
What can we do to protect our children from s*xual abuse?
Our children are the most vulnerable to s*xual abuse. Children may not understand that what is occurring is s*xual abuse, they may have been threatened by the abuser and are scared to say something, or they may be manipulated into trying to protect the abuser by being told to keep the interactions a secret. There are many ways a child predator targets and grooms children.
What can we do to protect our children?
1) Talk about body parts early and identify them accurately. Do not use nicknames such as flower, pe**ee, bum, front bum, w***y, f***y, cactus, etc. These terms can confuse a child and be used as manipulation by a predator.
2) Teach children healthy physical boundaries. Explain that some body parts are private. Establish concepts of consent through permission for hugs, kisses, holding hands, cuddling, playing toys, tickling, etc.
Do not label touches as "good or bad" as children may associate these terms with what feels physically good or bad, not with what is appropriate physical touch. These labels can be used by predators as a form of manipulation.
Explain that body part games are not appropriate such as a tickling game, exploration game, nice/good kisses, etc.
Explain that no one should do the following;
- look at their private parts
- ask them to look at someone else's private parts
- touch their private parts
- ask them to touch someone else's private parts
- show them pictures of videos of private parts on the TV, computer, magazine, cell phone, etc.
3) Teach your children that adults who want children to keep secrets (of any kind!) are not safe. Give children instructions on what to do if an adult tells them to keep a secret. Tell your children that they will never be in trouble for telling you a secret someone else told them to keep.
Explain that this applies to strangers, teachers, coaches, religious leaders, families friends, AND family members. Make sure your child knows that you WANT to know if someone (INCLUDING A FAMILY MEMBER) tells them to keep a secret. Reinforce you won't ever be angry and no one will be hurt if they say a secret.
4) Develop a code word/phrase that your child can use when they feel uncomfortable, unsafe, scared, or anxious around another person/location.
5) Develop an open relationship with your children where they can feel comfortable talking to you about anything, even if it might upset you. Never react in anger when a child is being vulnerable by admitting something to you as this can break the trust of open communication.
6) Monitor your child's use of the internet through any platform including but not limited to computers, online games, websites, social media, smartphones. Set up all possible parental controls. Continue to monitor a child's Internet use into their teen years (engage in discussions regarding dangers of online friends and dangerous websites. Establish respect, concern, and a casual interaction of checking their Internet use).
7) Teach your children all these rules apply with adults and other children. Children who are exposed to s*xual content or have been s*xually abused frequently engage their peers in s*xual activity, without awareness that they are engaging in inappropriate s*xual behaviors.
What are the signs?
1) Dramatic changes in behavior such as excessive crying, extreme clingy behaviors, high anxiety or fear, loss of happiness, random anger
2) significant difficulties sleeping
3) Age-inappropriate s*xual behavior or knowledge
4) Engaging s*xually with household peta
5) Physical injuries. Rashes, bruising, soreness, or irritation of private area.
6) Avoidance to use the bathroom
7) Avoidance to shower or bathe
8) Secretive about social media or Internet use
9) Excessive, intense, or inappropriate physical attachment to an adult
10) Regressive behaviors such as bed wetting, thumb sucking, acting or behaving in toddler ways
11) Inappropriate ways of eating certain foods (whole pickles, bananas, Popsicles, etc.)
12) Self-injurious behaviors
13) A child has alone time with an adult or a teenager with doors closed, at night, or excessive "quality" time
14) Avoidance of certain adults
15) Frequent unexplained stomach aches or head aches
16) Sleep disturbances. Difficulty falling asleep, excessive crying or fear of sleeping, frequent nightmares
If you suspect a child is experiencing s*xual abuse, please contact the following
- National Child Abuse Hotline 800-422-4453
- National Missing & Exploited Children Hotline 800-843-5678
- National Sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-4673
- National Human Trafficking Hotline 888-373-7888
*xualabuse *xualabuseawareness
