06/02/2026
"I saw the coach do things that made me deeply uncomfortable… Am I making a big deal out of nothing?" A parent wrote this to our Helpline recently. Our answer: no.
She described adult-like jokes with 12-year-olds, oversharing about the coach's personal life, and pats near children's lower hips. She asked if this was just him "trying to bond" with his youth athletes.
Crossing boundaries like this is one of the Behaviors to Watch for When Adults Are With Children. It doesn't mean this coach will sexually abuse the kids in his care. Sometimes adults are young or inexperienced and don't realize the environment they're creating.
But when we allow loose boundaries to go unchecked, children learn that it's OK for adults to talk about mature topics or touch them in uncomfortable ways. That makes them more vulnerable to anyone looking to harm youth.
If you're seeing something similar, here's where to start:
→ Document what you saw, in detail.
→ Check in with another parent. Many people see something but feel alone in their concerns.
→ Report up the chain. , for example, has a SafeSport Policy and a dedicated reporting email ([email protected]). You don't need proof to follow up.
→ Consider talking to the coach directly — specific, calm, and without inflammatory language.
→ Talk to your child about your family Safety Plan and which adult behaviors are not OK.
Trust your instincts. You're not making a big deal out of nothing.
Read the full advice column here: https://www.stopitnow.org/advice-column-entry/parent-worried-about-coachs-behavior