06/01/2026
In 1863, Union soldier Stephen Metcalf ran a newspaper ad seeking a young lady to “relieve the dull monotony” of camp life. This call was answered by his future wife, Carrie White. Despite not meeting in person for multiple years, Carrie and Stephen developed a strong friendship culminating in Stephen’s written proposal in 1866.
After the two became engaged, White expressed several concerns about their marriage, often through indirect means. For example, she sent Metcalf a long poem entitled "A Woman's Question," by an unknown author.
“Before I trust my fate to thee,
Or place my hand in thine;
Before I let thy future give
Color and form to mine,
Before I peril all for thee;
Question thy soul to-night for me.”
Both Metcalf and White shared some reservations about the origins of their relationship, but recognized that it was the only way the friendship could have started.
💌: Stephen and Carrie White Metcalf papers, 1863-1868