Reading is Life: For Mad Writers And Dorks

07/05/2020

FIFTEENTH JOURNAL👼😇

🌻Be The Grace🌻

This morning was a quiet start of the day. I even almost got late for mysubject in understanding the self. But then, our discussion regarding spiritualityand its importance to ones life was what became the talk around the class. As Iwas indulging all the data flashed in front by a powerpoint presentation, whilealso listening to our professor's story about how he's fond ofsharing happiness to others, the instances everytime I prayed in the CathedralChurh after class lingered in my mind; of how I always prayed to the FatherAlmighty to shower blessings to people. How can I not realize that sooner? Mymind bombarded that query to itself.

That's one thing I've learned today. I can bethe grace, I mean we can be the grace to people who are in needs. All the goodthings we ask from the Lord, we can turn it from prayers to reality. It is good thatwe also care for others by counting them on in our silent talks with God. Butwhat is better than good is to be the catalyst of your prayers for these to be heard andanswered, through courage and strength He will emit upon us.

Those things what my mind and heart rest upon also lead me to reflectionssuch that, our self-actuality will not be accomplished with out knowing thepurpose that we live in this world not just for ourselves but as well for others. Aperson cannot make a world alone, we make it altogether. That is why we call itworld.

MGAR💜

07/05/2020

Fourteenth Journal 🥰🤗🌷🌼

04/05/2020

THIRTEENTH JOURNAL🌌

🌠Balanced Me🌠

When they say I am not worth it. I won't listen to them because I know my worth. They say, I'm too shy. Yes I am, but I should not be, so I will not forever stay like this. They say I am way too small. Yes, this is me and I love me. They say let yourself be heard, then I'll gladly show myself off the shadow because I find no reason for me to stay in those behind. They'll say I'm not good enough and I'll say sorry if my best is quite smaller to fit the word enough for you. But, I won't stop there. I'll still keep going on my journey. You can't stop me.

I am not afraid to learn from others and let them look at me. You sometimes need an audience to critic you and make a better you because presence of others makes a better performer.

You should not be scared to what others may think about you but what you should be scared the most is yourself, when you think only yourself is good enough at everything and no one else. Don't let yourself be inferior to others but that doesn't mean that you should then be superior to them. Learning begins when one asks questions and not afraid to learn things from others.

💜🥀

03/05/2020

TWELFTH JOURNAL🥀🍂

🥀Fading (Monologue)🍂

I don't know what has gotten into me. The more I summon you, the more you move away. It is, as if you are afraid of me. I keep chasing for you yet why are you always running away? As I have watched those advertisments, stressing the importance of self-confidence, I realized that it was not confidence itself who was fearing me but it was actually me, the one fearing for not being able to grab a hold of it. Grace, just a little reminder from Dove, Catriona Gray and Norman King. Your beauty is your say. This is your way. Nothing can stop you. Do what you love. Embrace yourself as you, of who you are. Get what you aim. You are strong. You can do it. Keep going. It's no longer fading because confidence itself is in you and you are alive breathing it in and out.

💜

02/05/2020

ELEVENTH JOURNAL🥀🌹

🌻Live With It🌻

I actually didn't expect that I would become this serious toward my studies. I once thought studying is tiring. I once missed out a class. I encouraged my brother once to do the same. I am once escorted by my mom to school with a stick while I am wearing a grumpy face. I was a mess when I was in my younger years. But at those moments I begun to comprehend why I need togo to school. I wanted some integral change in my family's social status and that's when I started aiming for bigger things.

On my way here, I got stumble and fall, feeling all the pressure on my back. I push for more and try harder even if I know it will cause me so muchp ain. My tears and failures are their dissapointments and
dissatisfactions. My efforts, sleepless nights, academic stress and achievements are their happiness and success. For the past years, at the end of every school year I always made them smile and say to me, "Keep soaring high ate, we are so proud of you." and those for me are what really I aim as achievement and not those medals and titles from school.

Now that I'm in college, could I still do that? With this confidence? She says,Ate I hope you'll graduate with latin honors. My mind says I will graduate as to what my best could take me. Am I not enough? Yes, not even a little. It so sad and crazy. But then like what that person say, I am just a mere drop of the ocean and just go were the wave take me to. I am just one out of so many drops competing for space in the vast ocean. But, I want to tell something to myself. Grace do always remember, every drop that composed makes it the ocean and so you are important as much as how others are important too. It doesn't really matter if you graduate with honor or without, as long as you give the best out of you, God will be there to do the rest for you. Just trust yourself and the one giving you this fate. That's why you live up this fate. Live with it because nothing is impossible if you just believe in His glory and grace.

💜

Pagbasa ay Pag-asa: Naglalayong mapalaganap ang kultura ng pagbasa sa mga kabataan

01/05/2020

TENTH JOURNAL🥀🌿

🏵️"Yes I am! I Am a teacher of my own life."🏵️

Family is the basic unit of society, and so it is where ourself begin to spring up. Church is where one learn and reflects deeper in his or her self between rectitude and iniquity as he or she goes to maturity to growing old. Circle of friends, the school, as well as the mass media are also the forces outside the family that increasingly influence a social being. Those are all the agents of socialization.

Norms and standards that the society sets help and mold us to become us. We may look at these as something that forces us to attain what are anticipated by many, but these are undeniably what keep us into limits and out of pessimistic consequences. Just like an adage says, "great power comes with great responsibility", we, individuals, are born in this world with freedom. Volition is what makes us limitless that even to act in accordance to society's expectations will always comes with the choice of either yes or no. However, the results of your decisions and actions, may it be positive or not, are out of the control of your will. That's why decision making, must always account the consequences.

From all of these commentaries I have made out of the topics tackled in today's discussion, I realized that there are more things I don't know about myself. "Makasabot ra unya mo puhon." This was the line that hit through me and made me question, are there still things I don't know about myself yet? I've made myself believed to what I know is me. All this time, I am denying the things I don'tknow yet and that's what I'm going to find out from this day forward.

Learning from the presence of others, could make me a much better individual. I am so much lucky to attain college stage and learn to go deeper on things. I am thankful to this subject and the one scaffolding us in this subject. I am also thankful to God, though it is shameful and ironic to admit that I've been in some phases in my life when I have questioned and doubted the teachings and beliefs of my religion but still I honor and recognize Him as my God, my Lord and my torch in this battle of life, through my faith. Moreover, learning from everyday is not just knowing how to distinguish right from wrong. It is most realized when you are actually applying it to you and change is evident. Since then without even realizing, I am already a teacher, teaching myself to lead my life into betterment.

💜

30/04/2020

NINTH JOURNAL🌱🌷

🌺"What Makes Me the Person that I am Now?"🌺

That query had gotten me back from those times in fast-forward pace, when what I only knew was to play, to the times that I learned to become competent, until to now that I am writing this journal. Albert Bandura's Social Cognition Theory, reminded me way back when I was like any child who does things that can benefit him or her in return. Even now this theory still make sense as I see many people succeeded on their careers through education and hardwork. It gives me the impetus to do the same as I go chase for what I aim and target. I wasn't wrong for doing so because I wouldn't have come this far if I used the poor mindset that was intoxicating our society and limiting many people at poverty line.

Others also contended that personality is a matter of nature and nurture. Well, it can undeniably be observed from many, of how they inherit some personality characteristics in their bloodline, and on how we people learned to behave in the influence of how birth order, parental characteristics and cultural environment shaped us into the person we currently are. However, there is a humanist, Abraham Maslow, which believed as me that it is not amatter of nature and nurture but of personal choice.

Now, what makes me the person, that I am? From the word person itself, what I am now is my personality — the sum total of my behaviors, attitudes, beliefs and values that totally characterized me. What you know about me as person is my personality. This personality of mine was mold by personal choices because if it is not, I would have probably like any other person who didn't choose to spend time and effort to get the place I am standing in, I might have chose to stay lowly as a person and chose to be a victim of worldly unfairness. If it wasn't of my choice to be bulletproof from ranging hurdles of impoverished life, I might probably now a constituent of the increasing teenage pregnancy issue in our country. I was born with freedom and power to choose and even when I was not yet as mature as I am now, I already have that in my palm. Jean Piaget's cognitive development theory gave that sense for as we are in the pre-operational stage of our cognitive development, we are described as egocentric. Which means our standpoint is what we only consider. Thus, since we were young and even incapable of using it properly, the freedom of choice is already instilled to us. My personality is constituted by what my personal choices count from the influencing factors that naturally occurred and learnings accumulated from the social environment, may these choices cause bad or good. What I am now as a person is characterized by my personality, and my personality is the product of my choices in life. To conclude this journal, I am Who I am and I am What I Choose as am.

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30/04/2020

I expressed what my mind and heart resonate and it ended up with a heartfelt poem that was meant for me and for those valiant ones who were on the same plane with me, conquering fears.🌺

8TH JOURNAL 🌱🌷

Fake Emotions Appear Real

Speaking in front of million people,
With sophisticated smile and stand so tall,
Every smart word you make they fall,
How do you that? You pull those words so subtle.

Overwhelming applause roars with your perfect pitch,
Chanting your heart out with no worries to think,
Gestures you are not conscious to express,
How do you do that? Imparting your talent with confidence.

Let out words at the tip of tongue for the crowd to hear,
Sing out loud, believe it is over,
Never forget to remember,
You are braver than FEAR.

💜

29/04/2020

SEVENTH JOURNAL🌱🌷
🌺Being Imperfect What Makes Us Perfect🌺

Today everyone are tasked to write the "ME's", our other sides from "I". In mine, I wrote both the bad and good sides that I have, based on the things I am aware of what my outer self is and on the kind of behavior and attitude that others have seen from me. In scattered way, I wrote animotophobic, fearful, indolent, weak, and fragile - the bad side, and stronger, motivator, goal-oriented, thoughtful and humane - the good side, around my "I".

For me those adjectives are a real part of me. I'm a kind of person who can give good advices to problematic people I know, a good motivator to others, but actually not good in handling things on my own like I wasn't able to apply what I have advised to others. I'm a kind of person who always sets goals, loves to have things my way, and lazy at doing household chores but does it when I have the mood to do so. I put so much efforts in terms of academic works. I'm thoughtful and humane but can be mistaken at several things. I fear being drown in so much emotions, I fear making wrong choices, and I'm afraid to be hated. Yet, I do things that make other people keep misunderstanding me. Confusing but yes, that is me.

Back to the activity, we are then commanded to cut the bad sides out of our "I". As by doing it, it was the day we are prompted to wipe out those bad sides that enshrouded the beauty of our inner self.

For the past years of acting my age, I was a lot worse than now and my empirical bases became my stepping stones to fix those flaws. From bad to good, from better to worse, varying experiences may turn a person into either these two. As what the image above presented, my bad sides except fragile were no longer there but left traces in the paper. From this day on, I will go on to my journey without those for I am choosing to become better.

It's actually a matter of choice towards the individual. I may choose the path from badness to goodness or vice versa. I could also choose what to respond as to how a certain circumstances and different environment affect me. Though there are some uncontrollable factors that may take away our will, but it's always a choice. It is a matter of letting them all the way through you or end your fear to stop them. I chose to get those bad sides out, except the "fragile" because I don't wanna lose sensitivity. Being fragile made mesensitive towards other's feelings and became aware of the reacting emotions taking over me or other person. Feeling some pain, made me feel human. It's true that without those bad sides, we could feel empty spaces and it feels like that is no longer you. That's where change come over, to fill those spaces again with new characteristics that is not bias on any side and is much better and balanced. To achieve the better version of me, I take and accept change this way. Everyday brings new hope and learnings, offers opportunities or rooms for improvement thus, will eventually bring me further until I attain not the ideal but the best "ME".

P.S. I forgot to attach the picture of my output in this journal but, I still remember where I placed it. I'm a kind of sentimental person. 😅😊

💜

29/04/2020

SIXTH JOURNAL🌱🌷

Today is unexpected. With the activity that has been done, I am surprised by my classmates' emotional outburst. We are given a task of describing a human on three adjectives. So I wrote in the back of my "I" that the human is mysterious, ambiguous, and ambitious. Basically, I came up with this answers based on my own awareness of who I am and on my views of the other people as humans as they are.

Then afterwards, we are called by numbers to share our answers. I'm one of the lucky students who were given opportunity to impart their answers to the class. During the entire activity I've observed how our professor examined each one who spoke to the class. It's awesome how it made a person in his accord to be transparent in the sense that the one speaking told us without hesitations, the emotion he was carrying since and the life experiences that invoked such emotions to his heart. What amazed me most was how the sharing went into the room's atmosphere. It was like their emotions are radiated and penetrated into us, who were just merely in the respective seats listening, became emotional as well, as if we also felt what those who shared cried for.

For the whole time in, my answers are justified. The human is mysterious, in the way such that a person can manage to wear a mask of a smiling and happy-go-lucky face despite how drowned it is in its own feelings and emotions. The heavier a person is keeping the sweeter smile it shows as weapon in facing the world every single day. The human is ambiguous. Humans criticize and at the same time are judged because humans of who they are can be misunderstood. He can be defined in many ways by different people. Humans can't be actually defined in one definite way and in a single glance because a human can be more than what he or she is physically. Finally, the human is never contented that is why it is ambitious. It has insecurities and ideals which it always attempts to embody. But in the upside of being ambitious, a human is full of hope in making improvements in life and never stop striving to get the best version out of itself. That's human as WE are.

💜