07/02/2021
Mental health and the workplace pt3
10. Care for others
Caring for others is often an important part of keeping up relationships with people close to you.
Working life can provide opportunities to care for others – contributing through vocational jobs like nursing or care work can be hugely significant for mental health. In most jobs, you can choose to be there for colleagues – either as a team-mate, or as a line manager, when strategies like coaching and training are good ways to support others.
Helping can make us feel needed and valued, and that boosts our self-esteem. Volunteering can be hugely rewarding, and it helps us to see the world from another angle. This can help to put our own problems into perspective. Many companies have volunteering opportunities and corporate social responsibility programmes that enable staff to get involved in community work.
Caring responsibilities at home can be hugely rewarding to us, but also a source of stress. Our roles as parents, or carers for relatives, can collide with our work identities. Carers are at greater risk of developing mental health problems – work can provide a respite for carers, as they can be someone else at work – so it is important to retain and support carers in the workplace. Workplaces that support flexible working, carers' leave, childcare voucher schemes and other initiatives to support caring roles can have a big impact on staff mental health and productivity.
Supporting a colleague
Talking about mental health can seem daunting, but we’ve all had conversations with people about bereavements, breakups and other life events – they don’t always start easily but they often mean a lot to a person having a tough time.
It all starts with asking someone how they are doing in a warm and authentic way – giving them a chance to realise that you are being sincere and friendly.
Time and place
There’s a time and place for everything – and when it comes to talking with someone about their mental health, that means a time and place that is most comfortable for them. The last thing anyone needs is to feel rushed. Find a time where you know you have at least 10 minutes of clear time to give.
You may want to arrange a time for a longer chat – either in work time if appropriate, or outside work. You want to find a place that’s comfortable for them. Some people want peace and quiet – others like hustle and bustle.
It’s very important to devote your full attention to the person you are reaching out to. That means minimising disruptions like phones ringing or notifications popping up.
Active listening
Listening is vital for every relationship. Active listening is a term for a range of techniques that keep us present and engaged in a conversation.
Try and have eye contact, unless the person you are talking to doesn’t seem comfortable with that. Be open – that means open arms and turning slightly towards them.
You should acknowledge what's being said with appropriate nods and gestures, and repeat what they've said to check you got it right. Ask direct and appropriate questions – but it's not appropriate to probe for more details than a person is prepared to give.
When the conversation ends, recap what you have discussed and agreed, and make sure you do what you say you will. It can help to have some information to hand. Put some helpline numbers and web links in your phone to pass on straight away.
Managing your own feelings
It can be hard to hear difficult or upsetting things, but you want to reassure and encourage the person – that means not showing signs of surprise or judgement. You want to reassure the person that it’s OK to be speaking to you, and that you will treat what they say with respect.
It is tempting to immediately start suggesting solutions to problems – but it’s wise to ask a person what they want to happen. They may welcome suggestions, but, equally, they may just need to vent.
How do I respond to thoughts of su***de?
A recent survey showed that 20% of people had gone to work while experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings.
It is a myth that talking about su***de makes it more likely. If you are concerned that a colleague might be having thoughts of su***de, the best thing you can do is ask them directly. You can ask, "Have you had thoughts about su***de?" during a conversation about someone's mental health. Be plain, don't use euphemisms like "You wouldn't do something silly, would you?"
If your colleague says they are feeling suicidal or can't go on, or if you suspect they are thinking of taking their own life, it is important to encourage them to get help. They could contact the Samaritans straight away – they can call 116 123 for free 24 hours a day. You could also help them to call their doctor or a close friend or colleague.
If you are concerned for someone's immediate safety, or they tell you that they plan to end their life imminently, you can call 999 and ask for the police or take them to an A&E Department.
Supporting a person with ongoing mental health problems
Most people who develop mental health problems recover well, if they have right support from the people in their lives.
For some people, an episode of mental ill-health is a one-off – triggered by events. Equally, there may be no cause at all. For others, mental health problems can be longer term, or episodic over a lifetime. Recovery isn’t the same thing as cure – often people learn to live with aspects their mental health problem.
Supporting a colleague who has a mental health problem is about helping them to find ways to recover, helping them to stay well, and ensuring that the workplace is a safe and pleasant place to be, free from discrimination. Remember that the best expert on a person’s needs is themselves – if there is one golden rule for supporting a colleague, it is never to assume and always ask.
How can I support someone if they are off work?
Many people who have mental health problems dread returning to work after they have been off sick because of their mental health. It can be awkward to know what to say when people have been ill, especially if it has never been talked about, or if their behaviour was unusual when they were unwell.
Whether you are a manager or a colleague, keeping in touch and letting someone know you care is a great way to prevent awkwardness:
Ask the person who is off work what they would like their colleagues to be told. Remind colleagues that the image the person presents to the world – perhaps through social media – might not reflect their reality.
Invite them out when staff are spending leisure time together – they may decline, but still appreciate being asked.
Send cards and call your colleague if you would normally socialise with them – just as you would if they had any other health problem.
Give them a call a few days before they return to work and ask them if there’s anything you can do (maybe give their desk a tidy, agree to meet for coffee and walk in together, or go for lunch on the first day).
Greet them when they are back – they are unlikely to want a fuss made, but you shouldn’t shy away from talking about their absence. Ask them how they are, and if there’s anything you can do to support them from here onwards.
Help them get back into work routines – ask if they would like your support or attendance at meetings.
How can I support someone day to day?
Many people who experience mental health problems get through their difficulties and return to life exactly as it was. We can't always assume this. Like with many long-term health conditions, people with mental health problems may need to make long term or permanent changes in their lives or jobs to manage. Colleagues may need your support on an ongoing basis – don't assume that they need special treatment but equally don't assume that everything is fine just because some time has passed:
Check in with colleagues informally in the office to see how they are doing, and, if you manage someone, offer them the chance to discuss their mental health at supervision sessions.
You could offer to be a mentor or coach, or just a friendly support on an ongoing basis.
You can ask if there’s anything you can do to support a person to manage their condition. They might, for example, ask you to help them spot signs that they may miss that indicate that they may be becoming unwell.
Line manager responsibilities
As a line manager, you play a crucial role in supporting staff that experience distress and/or mental health problems. You are the first official contact between the employer and the individual and you can set the tone and set an example. In addition to the tips for supporting colleagues, there are several areas that line managers should be particularly aware of.
Managing absence and return to work
As a manager, you will be responsible for administering an absence. In mental health-related absence, the longer a person is away, the less likely they are to return. Early and appropriate contact can make returning easier. If you require a medical certificate from a doctor, you will get a 'statement of fitness to work' (a fit note) from the GP. Small businesses can benefit from the governement's Fit for Work programme.
This should give you an idea of whether there are reasonable adjustments you should make. Sometimes, a phased return to work can be helpful, with someone working a few hours a day and building back up to working their contracted hours.
If you’re unsure what is reasonable, ask for advice from your HR manager or occupational health advisor. For external advice, the conciliation service Acas provides a range of resources on managing challenging circumstances at work.
Performance management and appraisal
Good management practice suggests that regular team meetings and confidential supervision sessions between managers and their staff are good for business and good for staff engagement. Supervision sessions that do this are good for mental health and staff engagement.
Sometimes, a subtle (or more obvious) drop in performance is the signal that a staff member might be experiencing distress.
If you have to consider a disciplinary process or competence process, it is wise to keep an open mind as to whether a mental health concern could be part of the picture.
Clearly, unacceptable behaviour and poor performance must be addressed, but be aware that fear can prevent a person disclosing a mental health concern until their job is on the line.
You shouldn’t shy away from using disciplinary or competence policies where needed, just because staff have mental health problems, but those polices should anticipate health- and disability-related issues and enable you to factor those in.
Appraisals and career development can be very challenging to people who have lived experience of mental health problems. It can be hard to think about strengths if your self-esteem is poor, and receiving feedback – positive or negative – can be very difficult.
If a person hasn’t been performing as well as usual, they may feel guilty or fearful about it. Be honest in assessing their performance – they may feel their performance is worse than it is. It can be useful to agree in advance how to handle any continuing problems.
Encourage your colleague to identify factors that might play a role in them becoming unwell and consider how to deal with them. You may also want to agree how best to respond to a crisis, and what adjustments you could make to the job on a permanent basis.
Leading during change
The world of work is changing, and many employers find there is a need to restructure and make redundancies, or change staff working conditions or contracts.
Any change process is a challenge for staff mental health. If you have to plan a change process, you can balance some of the obvious stressful aspects by ensuring that decisions are communicated effectively, that people have as much time as practically possible to digest decisions, and that support is made available both within the workplace and via external support like employee assistance programmes and support to find new employment.
For people with lived experience of mental health problems, change processes can be especially stressful. They may expect to be made redundant, may need extra support, may become unwell, or, conversely, may not put themselves forward for promotion when they are suitable.
If you have staff who you know have a history of mental health problems, it is worth specifically adjusting for this when planning change.