30/03/2026
Hey!
Dear prospective candidate in the forthcoming general election, I hope you are fully prepared for the battle ahead? Remember, the millions in your bank account won't be enough to take care of the army of electorates who will besiege you for 'support'. So, get ready to borrow money from third parties, as that money in your bank account wont be enough. If you don't love borrowing money from people, then you may consider not running. You must throw away pride and shame and ask for help. Get ready to sell some of your property at ridiculous prices. Your supporters will be handy to assure you of victory, so, everything humanly possible must be done for that victory to come to fruition.
What about your blood pressure? Ensure that you procure that gadget used in checking BP, as you BP will remain unstable throughout the election season. Why won't your BP remain consistently inconsistent? When Mr. Okeke will tell you that he is solidly behind you in the morning, yet you will be stunned seeing Mr. Okeke in the campaign train of your main rival in the evening. Okeke will definitely have an answer to give, being that he is in your rival's camp in order to elicit viable cm favourable information from your opponent. For where? Why won't your BP rise when after the election, you will secure 6 votes in your Voting Center that will even make you to start suspecting your family members? Your family members who are 40 in number would all claim they voted you in your voting Center when you scored only 7 votes. My brother that's a case of political 419.
But you cannot love to hate politics, because man is a political animal and animals are inherently atavistic.
C. D. Ogbe, Esq.
Writing from the domain of experience.