14/03/2025
You have to get rid of the guilt/weight u carry. Time and possibly good therapy maybe a support group is the only way. You must befriend God again this time knowing he can take away whomever you love or make them suffer despite your prayers. Chanting the gaytri mantra ( or another) walking in nature, talking to the loved one u lost is the way to inner peace.
Just to know that you are capable of carrying that pain and loss and still live takes TIME. But that first takes so many days and nights one day at a time. Netflix, nature, sunshine, soaking in a bath, walks even talking to trees and flower or working and sleeping can get you through that one day that leads to another that leads to TIME.
Kindness as in ordinary acts or feeding the hungry or teaching/clothing/ feeding children in need or being there for someone going thru what you have been thru are your saving graces.
You can do this. You were not taken because u needed to do this and who knows what else after. But the decision to leave u alive cant be random.
Have to learn to love yourself, be patient with yourself and forgive yourself. One can only do the best they can with the knowledge and capacity they have at the time. There can be no should haves and could haves - there is only the past and the present… the future will slowly come about.
There is so much to learn from the reselience of trees from summer to Fall to Winter to Spring.
Dont ignore the flower that falls on u or at your feet as u walk by or the heart shaped pink clouds before sunset or a precious dream… Love reaches out to u from the beyond.