Families Feeling Safe Protective Behaviours Services

Families Feeling Safe Protective Behaviours Services Families Feeling Safe is an award-winning Social Enterprise, delivering high quality Protective Beha

Networks are so important.  Wishing all our friends and families all you need most at this holiday season.
22/12/2025

Networks are so important.

Wishing all our friends and families all you need most at this holiday season.

Incase you need someone to talk to over the festive period. Our Parents Helpline will be closed from 25th December and re-open on 2nd Jan.

We all have different needs to help us feel safe and comfortable - we hope you all find the right person and way to comm...
19/12/2025

We all have different needs to help us feel safe and comfortable - we hope you all find the right person and way to communicate yours this holiday time.

I Have Autism. I Want You to Know This at Christmas.

Christmas can look joyful from the outside, but for many autistic children it can feel overwhelming, confusing, and exhausting.

I created this resource to help children and their families gently share what Christmas can be like for them — and what really helps. It’s designed to support understanding from relatives, friends, and the wider family, without a child having to explain themselves again and again. Other diagnoses to follow over the coming days.

This free download includes
– Colour versions (masculine and feminine)
– Printer-friendly versions
– A child-led version where they can draw themselves or add a photo

It’s about making space, reducing pressure, and helping every child feel safer, seen, and understood during the festive season.

Free download — follow instructions in the visual.

19/12/2025

Christmas can be magical — and overwhelming — for an ADHD brain.

This visual shares 12 I statements from the perspective of a child or young person with ADHD, helping adults understand what support can look like during the festive season.
It’s not about lowering expectations. It’s about meeting nervous systems where they are.

See the visual for instructions on how to request the download link.

Save this. Share it with family. Send it ahead of Christmas gatherings.

So many wonderful ways to explore feelings - this is another lovey resource.
05/12/2025

So many wonderful ways to explore feelings - this is another lovey resource.

Explore our article on simple yet effective ways to help your children understand their emotions and express their feelings. 💛

👉 https://bbc.in/4o1s5ou

What are your thoughts about rights and responsibilities?  How do they connect with PB’s Theme 1 - We all have the right...
23/10/2025

What are your thoughts about rights and responsibilities?

How do they connect with PB’s Theme 1 - We all have the right to feel safe all of the time?

How does your setting reinforce the themes and understanding?

We would love to hear from you.

Children’s Week is a national event held annually around the fourth Wednesday in October, promoting awareness of children’s rights under the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) .

This year, the theme for Children’s Week is: Everyone should know about Children’s Rights.

This derives from Article 42 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child: “Parties undertake to make the principles and provisions of the Convention widely known, by appropriate and active means, to adults and children alike.”

The Children’s Week Council has created a free poster for you to download, so that more educators and families can understand what rights children have: https://zurl.co/EJouU

Why not put it up in your foyer and reflect on the elements in your next team meeting?

Super tool and explanation - for parents, professionals and individuals.  How might this help you? Feelings, thoughts an...
17/10/2025

Super tool and explanation - for parents, professionals and individuals.

How might this help you?

Feelings, thoughts and behaviour!

Beyond "Tantrums": Unpacking the Autistic Meltdown Trigger Wheel – A Guide to Understanding, Empathy, & Support 🤯

This incredible graphic, the "Autistic Meltdown Triggers Wheel" by Lil Penguin Studios, is a powerful and necessary tool for anyone seeking to understand the complex reality of Autistic meltdowns. It vividly illustrates that a meltdown is not a tantrum, a choice, or a sign of bad behavior. Instead, it's a profound physiological and psychological response to an accumulation of overwhelming stressors that push an Autistic individual past their capacity to cope.

For Autistic individuals, this wheel offers validation and a framework for self-understanding. For neurotypical allies, friends, and family, it's an essential guide to empathy, prevention, and effective support. Let’s break down these crucial trigger categories:

The Six Core Categories of Meltdown Triggers:

Sensory Issues:

The Experience: Many Autistic individuals have heightened (hypersensitivity) or diminished (hyposensitivity) responses to sensory input. This wheel highlights common culprits: Uncomfortable lights (fluorescent, flickering), noise & sounds (loud, sudden, repetitive, too many conversations), specific colors, smells, physical touch (unwanted, unexpected, certain textures), and itchy clothes (tags, seams, fabrics).

Why It Triggers: What might be a minor annoyance for a neurotypical person can be physically painful or deeply dysregulating for an Autistic person. A constant barrage of overwhelming sensory input builds up, chipping away at their ability to function until they reach a breaking point. Imagine trying to concentrate while someone scrapes their nails down a blackboard repeatedly – that’s a fraction of what sustained sensory overload can feel like.

Too Many/Much...

The Experience: This category speaks to cognitive and social overwhelm. It includes uncomfortable interactions (forced eye contact, small talk, social ambiguity), instructions (too many, unclear, rapid-fire), information (too much, too fast, too complex), thoughts (ruminating, racing), social confusion (misunderstanding social cues, unspoken rules), and waiting (especially without warning or explanation, disrupting executive function and routine).

Why It Triggers: The Autistic brain often processes information differently, sometimes more deeply or literally, and can struggle with filtering irrelevant data. Too much of anything – social demands, cognitive load, or uncertainty – can quickly deplete mental resources and lead to shutdown or meltdown. Waiting, for instance, can be profoundly unsettling due to the unpredictability and lack of control it implies.

Autistic Masking:

The Experience: This refers to the exhausting process of consciously or unconsciously suppressing natural Autistic traits and behaviors to appear "neurotypical" or to fit into social norms. Triggers here include unclear expectations, fear of judgment, excessive self-monitoring (constantly policing one's own words, gestures, expressions), and repressing stimming (suppressing self-regulatory behaviors like fidgeting, rocking, or repetitive movements).

Why It Triggers: Masking is a performance, a constant mental effort that drains cognitive and emotional energy. It requires immense focus and self-control. When someone is forced to mask for extended periods, their internal battery rapidly depletes, making them far more vulnerable to a meltdown when even a small additional stressor arises. Repressing natural stims, which are essential for self-regulation, only compounds this stress.

Other:

The Experience: This captures a range of physiological and situational factors including sleep problems, allergies, co-occurring conditions (e.g., anxiety, depression, GI issues, ADHD), medical issues, and traumas.

Why It Triggers: These are foundational stressors. Poor sleep, chronic pain, untreated medical conditions, or the lasting impact of trauma all reduce an individual's baseline capacity to cope. They create a constant underlying current of stress, making the individual highly susceptible to meltdown even from minor additional triggers. This highlights the holistic nature of well-being for Autistic individuals.

Change:

The Experience: This category speaks to the Autistic brain's strong preference for predictability and routine. Triggers include change in routine, unfamiliar situations, new places, new people, and inconsistency.

Why It Triggers: Predictability provides a sense of safety and control, reducing cognitive load. Change, even positive change, disrupts established patterns, introduces uncertainty, and demands significant mental effort to re-regulate and adapt. This can be profoundly unsettling and taxing, leading to heightened anxiety that can build into a meltdown. Inconsistency, like broken promises or unclear expectations, also falls under this, as it erodes trust in predictability.

Not Being Able to Identify/Communicate...

The Experience: This is a core challenge often linked to alexithymia (difficulty identifying and describing emotions) or verbal processing delays. Triggers include feelings & emotions (being overwhelmed by them without being able to name or express them), hunger & thirst, exhaustion, being cold/hot, pain, being mistreated, and self-gaslighting ("I shouldn't be feeling this," "I'm overreacting").

Why It Triggers: When basic internal states (like pain or hunger) or complex emotions cannot be effectively identified or communicated, it creates intense internal pressure and frustration. It's like a warning light flashing in the brain, but the user manual is missing. This profound dysregulation and inability to seek help or articulate needs can quickly escalate to a meltdown as the system overloads. Self-gaslighting compounds this by invalidating one's own legitimate feelings and needs.

The Path to Support and Prevention:

This wheel isn't just about identifying triggers; it's about empowering proactive strategies:

Self-Awareness: For Autistic individuals, understanding your personal triggers is key to self-advocacy and developing coping mechanisms.

Environmental Adjustments: For allies, modifying environments (sensory-friendly spaces, clear communication, predictable routines) can significantly reduce triggers.

Communication: Encouraging and supporting diverse forms of communication (verbal, non-verbal, AAC) for expressing needs and overwhelm is vital.

Validation: Believing and validating an Autistic person's experience, especially when they express distress, is paramount.

This "Autistic Meltdown Triggers Wheel" is a masterclass in empathy and a powerful call to move beyond judgment towards genuine understanding and support. A meltdown is a sign of immense distress, not defiance. By understanding these triggers, we can all contribute to creating a more inclusive and less overwhelming world for Autistic individuals.

Which of these triggers resonates most with you or someone you know? Share your insights and help us spread understanding!

Something we share in our courses - this is true for all of us.
17/10/2025

Something we share in our courses - this is true for all of us.

It takes the body time to calm — not just a few deep breaths.

When a child is overwhelmed, their nervous system can take 20–60 minutes to fully settle after a surge of stress hormones. That’s why calm can’t be rushed. They need safety, patience and connection — not pressure to “get over it.”

Understanding this is at the heart of brain-based parenting. Regulation isn’t instant; it’s built through co-regulation and trust.

This also demonstrates why a child needs longer than 5 minutes out of class after an incident.

There is a full range of calming strategy prompts in our toolkit below.

NOW AVAILABLE IN THE RESOURCE STORE - to accompany our series on social media.

The Child Brain Explained: How the Upstairs & Downstairs Brain Shape Behaviour, a Toolkit for Parents & Educators - available for only £3.75 until 3 November 2025

Electronic download available at link in comments ⬇️ or via our Linktree Shop in Bio.

Sharing incase useful
15/10/2025

Sharing incase useful

Children’s Wellbeing Practitioner workshops from Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust are free and designed to help parents and carers of children aged 5 to 19 with their emotional wellbeing and mental health.
Topics include managing anxiety, improving sleep, supporting self-esteem, and building emotional resilience.
No referral is needed – you can book directly if you have a child or young person who attends a school, or is registered with a GP in Hertfordshire: https://buff.ly/jHWZ7yc

29/09/2025
We thoroughly enjoyed sharing Protective Behaviours with another wonderful group during our recent online Level 1 Founda...
29/09/2025

We thoroughly enjoyed sharing Protective Behaviours with another wonderful group during our recent online Level 1 Foundation Training — congratulations to all who completed the course last Thursday! 👏

This week, we have a new face-to-face cohort, and we’re excited to keep the momentum going.

Our Protective Behaviours training is affordable, effective, and empowering — and we truly love supporting others to share this vital framework far and wide.

🌐 More training dates are available on our website.

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