Families Feeling Safe Protective Behaviours Services

29/07/2026

“When the rule isn't the goal...”

I recently watched a reel about a teenager asking to renegotiate their curfew.

At first glance, it might sound like they simply wanted to stay out later. But as they explained their thinking, something important emerged.

The original curfew focused on the parent having set “a specific time”. However the teenager was thinking about “safety”.

What if the event I’m at finishes later than expected?
What if someone else's parent is driving everyone home and dropping people off one by one?
What if leaving early means walking home alone, whereas waiting another 20 minutes means travelling safely with friends?

This isn't about a young person trying to avoid boundaries. It's about recognising the purpose behind the boundary and creating “shared meaning” and something that genuinely fits its purpose.

In Protective Behaviours, we often encourage conversations that move beyond rules and into understanding.

Healthy communication isn't about winning.
It's about creating shared understanding.

Moving from:
“Because I said so”.

To asking:
“What is this boundary trying to achieve?”

This also reminds us that we are “responsible to one another, not for one another”.

Parents have a responsibility to provide guidance, boundaries and opportunities to learn safe decision-making.

Young people have a responsibility to communicate honestly, think about risks, and work with trusted adults to find safe solutions.

The result isn't fewer boundaries. It's better conversations, greater trust and, ultimately, safer decisions.

Sometimes the safest choice isn't the one that follows the rule most closely. It's the one that honours the reason the rule exists.

What are your thoughts?

Have you ever changed a family rule because a conversation helped everyone understand its real purpose?

06/07/2026

Recognising our own feelings and knowing we can act on them is a protective behaviour.

I’ve lived a life of compliance.

Many autistic kids learn from a very young age that the point of it all is to please those around you- at any cost.

Many of us give away our comfort, our safety, our authenticity, our self-esteem, and our mental wellbeing. Some of us give away even more.

Teaching any child to disconnect from their internal body signals is, in my opinion, one of the most harmful things that compliance training can do. Because it leaves us without any internal alarm system. We learn to distrust our own intuition. Before too long, our internal voice that is there to keep us safe- goes quiet. And we have to rely on others deciding what IS and ISN’T ok for us.

And when someone, ANYONE, tells us that something is ok- even if it doesn’t FEEL ok for us- we take their word for it. We don’t question it any further.

We just do it. Because that’s what we have been trained to do.
It’s not about our comfort. It’s not about whether something feels right for us. It’s literally about pleasing everyone else.

That is the outcome of compliance training.

And yes, having a kid who does whatever you tell them might make life easier. Especially when they just do the things quickly without question.

Consider. What other things might they be asked to do in this world? As a kid, as a teen, and as an adult?

It is important that they question things.
It’s so important that they critically analyse the situation.
And it’s so important that they tune into their body’s danger signals.

How else will they keep themselves safe?

Em

06/07/2026

Be the thermostat, not the thermometer

A thermometer simply reflects the temperature around it. A thermostat notices what's happening and responds in a way that influences the environment.

From a Protective Behaviours perspective, this is at the heart of self-regulation.

Protective Behaviours teaches us to notice our early warning signs - the physical sensations, emotions and thoughts that let us know something is changing and where we are on the safety continuum.

Rather than being overwhelmed by them, we can become curious, pause and create enough space to regulate our nervous system. Use STOP - FEEL - THINK - DO.

Feeling safe isn't about avoiding discomfort or never experiencing strong emotions. It's about accepting these are natural and recognising what we're feeling without being overwhelmed, so that we can choose our behaviours and actions with intention, rather than simply reacting.

In doing so, we can make choices that help us feel safer and help others feel safer too.

The pause between feeling and acting is often where our greatest choice lies.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZ2sfWMgkAl/?igsh=ZmU4dTkzZXl1MnJ5

22/12/2025

Networks are so important.

Wishing all our friends and families all you need most at this holiday season.

Incase you need someone to talk to over the festive period. Our Parents Helpline will be closed from 25th December and re-open on 2nd Jan.

19/12/2025

We all have different needs to help us feel safe and comfortable - we hope you all find the right person and way to communicate yours this holiday time.

I Have Autism. I Want You to Know This at Christmas.

Christmas can look joyful from the outside, but for many autistic children it can feel overwhelming, confusing, and exhausting.

I created this resource to help children and their families gently share what Christmas can be like for them — and what really helps. It’s designed to support understanding from relatives, friends, and the wider family, without a child having to explain themselves again and again. Other diagnoses to follow over the coming days.

This free download includes
– Colour versions (masculine and feminine)
– Printer-friendly versions
– A child-led version where they can draw themselves or add a photo

It’s about making space, reducing pressure, and helping every child feel safer, seen, and understood during the festive season.

Free download — follow instructions in the visual.

19/12/2025

Christmas can be magical — and overwhelming — for an ADHD brain.

This visual shares 12 I statements from the perspective of a child or young person with ADHD, helping adults understand what support can look like during the festive season.
It’s not about lowering expectations. It’s about meeting nervous systems where they are.

See the visual for instructions on how to request the download link.

Save this. Share it with family. Send it ahead of Christmas gatherings.

05/12/2025

So many wonderful ways to explore feelings - this is another lovey resource.

Explore our article on simple yet effective ways to help your children understand their emotions and express their feelings. 💛

👉 https://bbc.in/4o1s5ou

23/10/2025

What are your thoughts about rights and responsibilities?

How do they connect with PB’s Theme 1 - We all have the right to feel safe all of the time?

How does your setting reinforce the themes and understanding?

We would love to hear from you.

Children’s Week is a national event held annually around the fourth Wednesday in October, promoting awareness of children’s rights under the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) .

This year, the theme for Children’s Week is: Everyone should know about Children’s Rights.

This derives from Article 42 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child: “Parties undertake to make the principles and provisions of the Convention widely known, by appropriate and active means, to adults and children alike.”

The Children’s Week Council has created a free poster for you to download, so that more educators and families can understand what rights children have: https://zurl.co/EJouU

Why not put it up in your foyer and reflect on the elements in your next team meeting?