10/06/2026
It’s the small wins that matter: Emma’s story of caring
Emma has been a carer for as long as she’s been a mum, caring for her two neurodiverse sons, aged 10 and 8, who are both diagnosed with AuDHD (autism and ADHD). Their diagnoses came in stages, with autism in early childhood and ADHD more recently but Emma’s caring role began from the very start.
Emma explains: “I’ve been a carer since my two boys were born, but what that has looked like over the years has changed significantly and there isn’t really a typical day. Life today looks very different to life last year, but I also know what life looks like will continue to change.”
Just a year ago, daily life felt incredibly challenging. Emma was juggling full-time work alongside constant calls from school, as her youngest son was placed on a reduced timetable after repeated suspensions. At the same time, her eldest son was struggling in a different way. After masking his difficulties during the school day, he would come home overwhelmed and exhausted, often reaching a point of emotional overwhelm as his mental health declined. He developed Emotional Based School Avoidance (EBSA) which left him unable to access school.
Emma battled with the local authority for over two years to get suitable school places, feeling like she was jumping through hoops and gathering evidence. After eventually going to tribunal both boys secured places at specialist schools.
Emma adds: “Trying to get the right placements from the local authority felt like a nightmare. My eldest was struggling so much at school that he got to the point where he didn’t want to be here anymore and that was extremely difficult to see and hear. Sleep was rare, anxiety was high and I always felt myself in fight mode. Both boys are now doing really well at school, it isn’t perfect and their needs are still very complex but it’s so much better.”
Both Emma’s sons have different and intense needs, which she describes as often feeling like walking on eggshells and firefighting, as she doesn’t know what she might return from work too depending on how their days have been. Breaks in routine can often lead to dysregulation and everyday challenges include eating, wellbeing and safety concerns.
Alongside their complex needs, both boys have their own unique interests and personalities. Emma’s youngest has a real love for teddy bears, finding joy in collecting and caring for them. While her eldest has a fascination with maps and roads, often spending time exploring routes and studying how places connect. Emma adds: “They share a love of arcade games ,which is nice we are able to do this as a family unit, as it is difficult to do many things as a family at times.”
Despite the pressures of being a carer, Emma continues to balance her responsibilities alongside her role at LSCFT as a Senior Pathway Navigator for school age autism pathways. In her role she supports other families who are waiting for answers and navigating similar challenges, using her lived experience as a parent and carer brings a powerful perspective.
Emma says: “I help explain the pathways, signpost to support and listen, sometimes people just want to speak to someone who understands and can relate to their struggles and frustrations. I know how difficult and stressful it is trying to meet your child’s needs whilst juggling work and family life.”
Despite all the challenges, there are moments of joy for Emma, often found in the smallest of wins.
Emma adds: “Those small moments are the most rewarding part of being a carer. That could be something as simple as trying a new food, managing a school day or coping in a busy place. They might seem irrelevant to other people, but to us they are everything and in those moments all the hard work behind the scenes feels worthwhile.”
It is estimated that over 5.5 million people in the UK are unpaid carers with 1.7 million of those providing over 50 hours of care a week.
Emma recognises that being a carer can often feel like a lonely and isolating experience: “It’s okay to not be okay, it is okay to say you’re struggling, even if it feels like something small you should ask for help. Never give up trying to find support, the support may feel difficult to find and access at times but there are people who want to help. I find using online forums for parents in similar situations help me feel less alone and reassure me that I am doing my best and it isn’t a straight-line journey.
“I’ve found it important to try and not compare my life to anyone else’s and remember your normal is unique to you. Have chicken nuggets for Christmas dinner if that works for your family. That might mean doing things differently, but you can and will find joy in unexpected ways.”
Emma’s story is a powerful reminder of the realities many carers face every day – the resilience, the challenges and the determination.
