Coming Home Therapy

06/04/2026

Cancer-related fatigue is one of the most misunderstood and underestimated challenges in the cancer experience. Unlike ordinary tiredness, it doesn't lift with a good night's sleep. It can be relentless, unpredictable, and deeply disruptive — reshaping every corner of a person's life.

When fatigue is this significant, it touches far more than the physical. It quietly erodes the parts of life that bring us meaning and joy. The hobby you once looked forward to feels out of reach. The goal you were working toward keeps getting pushed aside. The relationships you cherish require more energy than you have to give. And slowly, without always realizing it, your mood, your thoughts, and your sense of optimism can begin to shift. It becomes harder to feel hopeful when your body won't cooperate. Harder to stay engaged when exhaustion is constant. Harder to recognize yourself in the life you're trying to live.

This is the emotional and psychological weight of cancer-related fatigue — and it deserves to be talked about openly.

The good news is that support exists, and it can make a profound difference. I've heard from people who have connected with Cancer Fatigue Services (CFS) — Canada's first medical clinic dedicated entirely to cancer-related fatigue — and the feedback has been exceptional. People describe feeling truly heard, receiving personalized, evidence-based care, and for the first time, being told that fatigue isn't something they simply have to accept. It is treatable, and help is available whether you're in active treatment or years into survivorship.

Closer to home here in Ottawa, the Ottawa Cancer Foundation is also doing important work in this space. Their four-week program on cancer-related fatigue offers practical strategies, evidence-based tools, and a supportive community for people looking to better understand and manage their fatigue — and it's available both in-person and online.

If you or someone you love is navigating cancer-related fatigue, please know you don't have to figure it out alone. Reach out to these organizations. Share this with someone who might need it. And let's keep normalizing these conversations — because the emotional toll of fatigue is just as real as the physical one.

Cancer Fatigue Services: cancerfatigueservices.com

Ottawa Cancer Foundation: ottawacancer.ca

05/30/2026

There is an emotion that comes up again and again in my work with people facing cancer — and it is one we almost never talk about.

Not fear. Not grief. Not anger. Shame.

Dr. Brené Brown defines shame as "the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging." And in the context of cancer, it shows up more than most people realize.

For people with lung cancer, research confirms that patients — whether they smoked or not — feel particularly stigmatized because of the disease's association with smoking. Some worry they will be judged by their care team, or feel they have to justify their diagnosis before they can ask for help. For people with cervical cancer, the link to HPV and its sexual transmission carries its own painful layer of shame and fear of judgment.

But shame in cancer is not limited to these diagnoses. I see it across cancer types — in people who wonder whether their diet caused it, whether they worked too hard, didn't rest enough, or ignored a sign. Sometimes those thoughts come from within. Sometimes they are reinforced by a careless comment from someone around them. And sometimes the shame is anticipatory — a fear of what others must be thinking, even when nothing has been said out loud.

A cancer diagnosis is not a moral verdict. And yet so many people carry it like one.

Brown's research offers us something important here. She reminds us that shame thrives in secrecy, silence, and judgment — but cannot survive empathy. That shame is a social wound that heals best between people. And that naming what we are feeling, in a space where it will be met with understanding, is one of the most powerful things we can do.

If you are living with cancer and carrying shame alongside it — you did not deserve this. Whatever your history, whatever your body did or didn't do, you deserve care that holds space for all of it, including the parts that are hardest to say out loud.

And for those of us working alongside people with cancer: let's reflect on how we show up in these moments. The questions we ask, the comments we make, the expressions on our faces — these things land. And they stay.

As Brown says: "What we don't need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human."

05/07/2026

When someone we love dies, our first instinct is often to protect the children in our lives from the pain of it. We soften the words. We wonder whether to bring them to the funeral. We tell ourselves they're too young to really understand.

But here's what decades of grief research — including the work of Dr. Kenneth Doka, one of the world's leading experts on grief — tells us: children are always grieving, whether we give them permission to or not. The question is never really whether a child will grieve. It's whether they will feel safe enough to do it.

A few things I think every parent and caregiver deserves to know:

-Children grieve differently. Doka describes children as "puddle jumpers" — they dip in and out of their pain rather than sitting in it the way adults do. A child who is crying one moment and asking to go play the next isn't unaffected. They're doing exactly what they need to do.

-Honest language matters more than we think. Euphemisms like "went to sleep" or "we lost them" can create real fear and confusion for young children. Using the actual words — "died," "death" — tells a child that this is something we can talk about together. That is a profound gift.

-Children's grief can go unacknowledged. When we tell a child to "be strong," exclude them from rituals, or avoid mentioning the person who died, we can unintentionally communicate that their grief doesn't count. What children need most is for someone to say: this is real, it hurts, and it's okay to feel it.

-Keep the memory alive. Say their name. Share stories. Look at photos together. Children don't need to let go — they need to learn how to carry their love for someone who has died forward with them.

I've written a full article on supporting children through loss on my website — including guidance on funerals, what to watch for, when to seek professional support, and more. Link in bio.

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Lorsque quelqu'un que nous aimons décède, notre premier réflexe est souvent de protéger les enfants dans notre vie de cette douleur. Nous adoucissons les mots. Nous nous demandons si nous devrions les amener aux funérailles. Nous nous disons qu'ils sont trop jeunes pour vraiment comprendre.

Mais voici ce que des décennies de recherche sur le deuil — notamment les travaux du Dr Kenneth Doka, l'un des plus grands experts mondiaux en deuil — nous enseignent : les enfants font toujours leur deuil, qu'on leur en donne la permission ou non. La question n'est jamais vraiment de savoir si un enfant vivra un deuil. C'est de savoir s'il se sentira assez en sécurité pour le faire.

Quelques choses que je crois que tout parent et proche aidant mérite de savoir :

-Les enfants vivent le deuil différemment. Doka décrit les enfants comme des « sauteurs de flaques » — ils plongent dans leur douleur par intermittences plutôt que d'y rester en permanence. Un enfant qui pleure un instant et qui demande à aller jouer l'instant suivant n'est pas indifférent. Il fait exactement ce dont il a besoin.

-Un langage honnête compte plus qu'on ne le pense. Des euphémismes comme « s'est endormi » ou « on l'a perdu » peuvent créer une vraie peur et confusion chez les jeunes enfants. Utiliser les vrais mots — « mort », « décès » — dit à l'enfant que c'est quelque chose dont on peut parler ensemble.

-Le deuil des enfants peut passer inaperçu. Quand on dit à un enfant d'être « fort », qu'on l'exclut des rituels, ou qu'on évite de mentionner la personne décédée, on peut involontairement lui communiquer que son deuil ne compte pas.

-Gardez la mémoire vivante. Dites leur nom. Partagez des histoires. Regardez des photos ensemble. Les enfants n'ont pas besoin de lâcher prise — ils ont besoin d'apprendre à porter leur amour en avant.

J'ai écrit un article complet sur le soutien aux enfants en deuil sur mon site web. Lien dans la bio.

05/06/2026

Something that doesn't get talked about enough in the cancer world is the unique experience of people from the 2SLGBTQI+ community facing a cancer diagnosis.

Research shows that cancer rates can be different among 2SLGBTQI+ communities compared to the general population, and these communities face unfair treatment and discrimination in healthcare that creates real problems when it comes to getting the right care and achieving good health outcomes. In Canada, many healthcare providers assume that everyone is heterosexual and cisgender, which means they do not always consider the unique needs of 2SLGBTQI+ people. Canadian Cancer Society

On top of navigating a cancer diagnosis — which is already hard — members of the 2SLGBTQI+ community may also be managing fears about discrimination in healthcare settings, lack of affirming providers, concerns about how treatment will interact with gender-affirming care, or simply not seeing themselves reflected in available supports. That matters, and it deserves to be named.

Here are a couple of resources I want to share:

🌐 The Canadian Cancer Society has a dedicated 2SLGBTQI+ page with resources, a community services locator you can filter by population, and a cancer information helpline staffed by people trained on the unique experiences of 2SLGBTQI+ communities: cancer.ca/en/about-us/2slgbtqi

🌐 The Cancer Network runs free Zoom peer support groups specifically for LGBTQIA+ people who have or have had cancer — held twice a week, Mondays from 4–6 pm Eastern and Saturdays from 3–5 pm Eastern. National LGBT Cancer Network These groups are built by and for the community, so you never have to explain or translate who you are: cancer-network.org/cancer-support

Everyone deserves cancer care that sees and supports their whole self. 🏳️‍🌈

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Quelque chose dont on ne parle pas assez dans le monde du cancer, c'est l'expérience unique des personnes de la communauté 2ELGBTQI+ qui font face à un diagnostic de cancer.

En plus de naviguer un diagnostic de cancer — ce qui est déjà difficile — les membres de la communauté 2ELGBTQI+ peuvent également gérer des craintes de discrimination dans les milieux de soins, le manque de professionnels de santé inclusifs, des préoccupations sur les interactions entre les traitements et les soins d'affirmation de genre, ou simplement ne pas se voir reflété dans les ressources disponibles. Cela compte, et cela mérite d'être nommé.

Voici quelques ressources que je souhaite partager :

🌐 La Société canadienne du cancer dispose d'une page dédiée aux communautés 2ELGBTQI+ avec des ressources et une ligne d'information sur le cancer dont le personnel est formé sur les expériences uniques des communautés 2ELGBTQI+ : cancer.ca/fr/a-propos/notre-travail-en-equite-sante/communautes-2elgbtqi

🌐 The Cancer Network offre des groupes de soutien par les pairs gratuits sur Zoom, spécifiquement pour les personnes LGBTQIA+ vivant avec ou ayant eu un cancer — les lundis de 16h à 18h et les samedis de 15h à 17h (heure de l'Est) : cancer-network.org/cancer-support

Tout le monde mérite des soins contre le cancer qui reconnaissent et soutiennent la totalité de qui on est. 💙🏳️‍🌈

04/29/2026

Something I've been proud to be part of is finally available to caregivers across Ontario.

Last year, I had the privilege of collaborating with the Ontario Caregiver Organization to bring their SCALE program to life as a self-guided online course — this time, recorded in French. The English version is also available, recorded with another wonderful therapist.

The SCALE program is something I believe in deeply. Whether you are caring for a loved one living with a chronic illness, dementia, or a mental health condition, caregiving can be incredibly meaningful — and incredibly hard. This program was designed with you in mind. It offers practical tools and emotional support to help you navigate one of life's most demanding roles, at your own pace and in your own time.

I am so grateful to the Ontario Caregiver Organization for their commitment to making these resources accessible in both official languages.

👉 French sessions (programme ANCRE) : https://aidantsontario.ca/counseling-coaching/webinaires-ancre/
👉 English sessions : https://ontariocaregiver.ca/counselling-coaching/scale-webinars/

If you know a caregiver who could use some support, please share this with them.

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it.

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Quelque chose dont je suis tellement fière de faire partie est maintenant disponible pour les aidants de partout en Ontario — et je ne pouvais pas ne pas en parler ici. 💙

L'an dernier, j'ai eu le privilège de collaborer avec l'Organisation des aidants de l'Ontario pour adapter le programme ANCRE en format de cours autoguidé en ligne — enregistré en français. Une version anglaise, enregistrée avec une autre thérapeute formidable, est également disponible.

Le programme ANCRE est quelque chose auquel je crois profondément. Que vous accompagniez un proche atteint d'une maladie chronique, de démence ou d'un trouble de santé mentale, le rôle d'aidant peut être à la fois profondément enrichissant et incroyablement exigeant. Ce programme a été conçu pour vous. Il offre des outils concrets et un soutien émotionnel pour vous aider à traverser ce rôle important, à votre propre rythme et selon votre propre horaire.

Je suis si reconnaissante envers l'Organisation des aidants de l'Ontario pour leur engagement à rendre ces ressources accessibles dans les deux langues officielles.

👉 Sessions en français (programme ANCRE) : https://aidantsontario.ca/counseling-coaching/webinaires-ancre/
👉 Sessions en anglais : https://ontariocaregiver.ca/counselling-coaching/scale-webinars/

Si vous connaissez un aidant qui pourrait bénéficier d'un peu de soutien, partagez ce message avec lui.

Mental Health Support. When You Need It. SCALE webinars are designed to help you navigate the challenging emotions that come with caregiving. Watch the psychoeducational webinars below at any time […]

04/27/2026

Did you know that up to 3 in 10 people receiving cancer treatment experience a common mental health condition like depression or anxiety? That's not a small number — and yet emotional distress is still so often left unaddressed in cancer care, where the primary focus is (understandably) on treating the disease itself.

What's important to understand is that untreated depression and anxiety don't just affect how you feel — they can actually affect your treatment and your recovery. Mental health is part of cancer care, not separate from it.

The good news? There is a growing body of research on what actually helps. A major study published in JAMA Network Open in early 2025 — a meta-analysis of 27 clinical trials involving nearly 2,000 participants — found that exercise interventions significantly reduced depression and anxiety in people with cancer, and improved overall quality of life. Mind-body practices like yoga, tai chi, and qigong showed especially strong results.

This doesn't mean exercise replaces therapy or other forms of support. But it does remind us that caring for your mental health during cancer can look like many things — movement, connection, therapy, peer support, and more.
If you're struggling emotionally during or after a cancer diagnosis, please know: it is normal, it is real, and support is available. You don't have to just push through it.

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Saviez-vous que jusqu'à 3 personnes sur 10 recevant un traitement contre le cancer souffrent d'un problème de santé mentale courant comme la dépression ou l'anxiété ? Ce n'est pas un petit chiffre — et pourtant, la détresse émotionnelle reste si souvent ignorée dans les soins en oncologie, où l'accent est mis (de façon compréhensible) sur le traitement de la maladie elle-même.

Ce qu'il est important de comprendre, c'est qu'une dépression ou une anxiété non traitée n'affecte pas seulement votre bien-être — elle peut aussi affecter votre traitement et votre rétablissement. La santé mentale fait partie des soins en oncologie, elle ne s'y ajoute pas.

La bonne nouvelle ? Les recherches s'accumulent sur ce qui aide vraiment. Une étude importante publiée dans JAMA Network Open au début de 2025 — une méta-analyse de 27 essais cliniques portant sur près de 2 000 participants — a révélé que les interventions par l'exercice réduisaient significativement la dépression et l'anxiété chez les personnes atteintes de cancer, et amélioraient la qualité de vie globale. Les pratiques corps-esprit comme le yoga, le tai-chi et le qigong ont montré des résultats particulièrement significatifs.

Cela ne signifie pas que l'exercice remplace la thérapie ou d'autres formes de soutien. Mais cela nous rappelle que prendre soin de sa santé mentale pendant le cancer peut prendre de nombreuses formes — le mouvement, la connexion, la thérapie, le soutien par les pairs, et bien plus encore.

Si vous traversez des difficultés émotionnelles pendant ou après un diagnostic de cancer, sachez que c'est normal, que c'est réel, et que du soutien est disponible. Vous n'avez pas à simplement « passer à travers ».

04/27/2026

Looking for a new book to read? One worth checking out is The Big Ordeal by Cynthia Hayes. What makes this book stand out is that it focuses on something that doesn't get nearly enough attention — the emotional side of cancer. Most books focus on the physical, but Cynthia Hayes, a cancer survivor herself, tackles the psychological journey head-on. She wrote this in collaboration with a psychologist and two oncologists, and drew from interviews with over 100 patients, caregivers, and medical experts to do it.

A few things I think make this such a valuable read:

It normalizes the emotional experience. So many people I've worked with over the years have felt alone in what they were feeling — the anxiety, the grief, the fear, the cognitive fog. This book helps you understand that what you're going through emotionally is real, it's predictable, and you are not alone in it.

It explains the why behind your emotions. Hayes worked with neuroscientists to understand how cancer and its treatments actually affect brain chemistry — which means the depression, the overwhelm, the "chemo brain" aren't just in your head. There are biological reasons for them, and understanding that can be incredibly validating.
It's structured around the phases of the cancer journey — from diagnosis, through treatment, into recovery and beyond — so you can read what's most relevant to where you are right now.
If you're looking for a book that truly gets the emotional weight of cancer, this one is worth picking up. Available on Amazon and as an eBook.

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À la recherche d’un nouveau livre a lire? Un Que je recommenderais c’est The Big Ordeal de Cynthia Hayes ? Ce qui distingue ce livre, c'est qu'il aborde quelque chose qui ne reçoit pas assez d'attention — le côté émotionnel du cancer. La plupart des livres se concentrent sur le physique, mais Cynthia Hayes, elle-même survivante du cancer, s'attaque de front au parcours psychologique. Elle l'a écrit en collaboration avec une psychologue et deux oncologues, et s'est basée sur des entretiens avec plus de 100 patients, aidants et experts médicaux.

Quelques raisons pour lesquelles je considère ce livre si précieux :

Il normalise l'expérience émotionnelle. Tant de personnes avec qui j'ai travaillé au fil des ans se sont senties seules dans ce qu'elles ressentaient — l'anxiété, le deuil, la peur, le brouillard cognitif. Ce livre vous aide à comprendre que ce que vous traversez émotionnellement est réel, prévisible, et que vous n'êtes pas seul(e).

Il explique le pourquoi derrière vos émotions. Hayes a travaillé avec des neuroscientifiques pour comprendre comment le cancer et ses traitements affectent réellement la chimie du cerveau — ce qui signifie que la dépression, le sentiment d'être dépassé(e), le « brouillard chimio » ont des bases biologiques. Comprendre cela peut être incroyablement libérateur.

Il est structuré autour des phases du parcours du cancer — du diagnostic, à travers le traitement, jusqu'à la guérison et au-delà — afin que vous puissiez lire ce qui est le plus pertinent pour là où vous en êtes maintenant.
Si vous cherchez un livre qui comprend vraiment le poids émotionnel du cancer, celui-ci vaut la peine d'être lu. Disponible sur Amazon et en livre numérique.

04/24/2026

I recently had a chance to sit down with both the Founder/CEO and the Chief Cancer Coach of Healthville, a new organization that offers oncology-specific coaching groups on mental health and support needs patients have both during and after treatments, and who connects you with professionals across the globe specialized in supporting those facing cancer with their health and wellness needs.

They offer Cancer Coaching, something I know quite well after spending eleven years working as a Cancer Coach before opening my private counselling practice. Cancer Coaches are health care professionals with a background in oncology, certified in health coaching through the National Board of Health and Wellness Coaches (NBHWC).

For health professionals out there, they offer training incase you’re interested in learning coaching skills specific to cancer support.

For patients, I definitely encourage you to reach out and find out more about working with a coach. A coach can guide you through the challenges of cancer and improve your confidence to implement self-care actions that will lessen the impact of cancer in your daily life and improve your quality of life when living with and beyond cancer.

I’m excited to partner with them this fall once I’m back from maternity leave, to offer some groups around mental health and cancer, and wanted to take a moment to share their website since they are offering care that is so needed for those facing cancer and I want to help spread the word. You truly get the best of the best through them; this is led by experts in the field in oncology when it comes to support care needs.



https://www.healthville.ca

03/10/2026

A cancer diagnosis doesn’t just affect one person — it affects the whole family.

Partners, children, caregivers, and loved ones are all navigating fear, uncertainty, and big emotions. Yet many people feel they have to figure out how to cope on their own.

After spending 15 years working in oncology as a social worker and therapist, I’ve seen what can make the cancer experience harder than it needs to be — and what can truly helps. That’s why I created the Mental Health and Cancer Webinar Series — to share practical, evidence-based tools to help people manage overwhelming emotions, support their mental health, and navigate the cancer experience with more support and clarity.

These webinars are for anyone impacted by cancer — people living with cancer, family members, caregivers, and healthcare professionals. They also include specific tools for parents and family caregivers supporting loved ones through cancer.

You can join live or watch the recorded sessions anytime.

🎥 Recorded webinars

• Navigating Emotions Before and During Cancer Treatment — practical tools to manage distress and self-soothe during treatment.

• Managing Fear of Cancer Recurrence or Progression — strategies to cope with uncertainty and move toward the life you want.

🗓 Upcoming live webinars

• How to Talk to Your Child(ren) About Cancer — guidance for having supportive, age-appropriate conversations with kids.

• Being the Caregiver You Want to Be (Without Burning Yourself Out) — how to support a loved one while protecting your own wellbeing.

If you or someone you love is facing cancer, these sessions are designed to help.

Learn more or register here:

https://cominghometherapy.ca/webinars/