05/17/2026
Family lawyers often compare parenting time to school attendance. The analogy goes something like this: “If your child refused to go to school, you would still make them go. The same should apply to parenting time.”
In my humble opinion, this analogy oversimplifies a much more complex reality.
A parent usually does not worry about abuse, neglect, manipulation, or emotional harm occurring at school. If they did, they would likely change schools immediately. Yet these are often the exact concerns raised when a child resists spending time with the other parent.
School is also temporary and structured. A child attends for a few hours, remains under the custodial parent’s overall care, and returns home afterward. Parenting time can feel very different to a child, emotionally, psychologically, and practically.
For many children, school represents learning, friendships, routine, and safety. The other parent’s home may not feel the same way. In some cases, children may experience guilt, pressure, conflict, or negative comments about the custodial parent while there.
When we treat parenting time like mandatory school attendance, we risk turning it into an unavoidable chore in the child’s mind — something they simply have to endure.
Is that really the relationship we want to build between a child and their parent?
Rather than forcing compliance through simplistic comparisons, it may be more productive to understand why the child is resistant and address the underlying issues. Healthy parent-child relationships are not built through coercion; they are built through trust, safety, and connection.