08/02/2020
Sesiyomelh
In February 2019 I was approached by one of the Sto:lo leaders to coordinate a Matriarch project (what an honour to be asked to do). It would be geared at re-establishing the Matriarchial system. A way of give the grandmothers and great grandmothers and aunties to once again be the female leaders in their families and communities. History shows that the Matriarchs were the ones that lead the family, they directed the children and great grandchildren and even the leaders as a whole. If there was conflict of any kind it was the Matriarchs who called the families together to deal with the issue (whatever it may be).
Not long after I started the project - the government introduced a bill that would deal with children in foster-care. In this bill, which passed in legislation on June 21, 2019 and is now a law, giving families and communities more say in what happens with their children in care. This gives the grandmothers, great grandmothers, aunties, and even the grandfathers, great grandfathers and uncles the ability to have a say in what happens to our children. This law allows us to keep our children within our families, communities and Nation. We have the right to say what happens to our children. In this law the “best interest of the child” is at the forefront and who knows what’s best for our children, is “family”. Our goal is to work with Children and Family Services, the parents, extended family and any health and wellness services to be able to bring the parents and children back together when they are ready. In the earlier years there was the 60’s scoop where many of our children were removed and adopted out to non-native homes. Most of those children never returned to their families or communities, if they did it wasn’t until they were adults. Because the Canadian government was a male dominant society there was not the compassionate process for children in care and the families. There was no empathy, and our Matriarchs felt devalued and not accepted as an important part of our leadership. Today things are changing.
Now, fast forward to today, we have our Sesiyomelh (Matriarchs) in place and this where it gets personal for me. On June 15th - last month, two of my great grandchildren were in a situation where the parents were not able to care for their children. I chose to take my grandchildren ages 2 and 3 and brought the youngest one to his maternal grandma and the older one to his paternal grandaunt where he was the year before. I notified the Aboriginal agency since they were already working with the boy’s mom, and advised them of what I had done. The beginning of the following week both boys were with their grandaunt (my youngest daughter), hoping for a 3 month placement. However, my daughter is a nurse and works a 12 hour shift, 3 days on and 3 days off. Her day begins at 5:30 and she drops the boys off at the daycare and picks them on her way home from work. She gets home at 7:30 in time for dinner and then bed time only to get up the next day to do all over again. After a month of this type of schedule my daughter realized she couldn’t carry on with this schedule. She notified the agency and they asked her to try and keep the boys until the end of the month. This would give them time to try and find another home, she agreed to keep them until the 31st.
The second last day of the month (Thursday) there was no word yet from the agency, so I called them. They were hoping my daughter would keep them for another week, but I knew she couldn’t do it. They didn’t know what to do, so my grandmother instinct kicked in. I let the social worker know I was not happy, they weren’t doing what I felt they should be doing. So I got on the phone and made a few calls. Called the social worker and stated that I may have found a home for the boys in the community where mom is from and she said there was a process they had to follow and proceeded to tell me about the guidelines of Bill C-92 there was things she had to do first. (Try to explain to me about Bill C-92!!). Amazingly, my daughter received a call saying there was a meeting set for Friday at 10:00 am, they had to make sure the possible home was suitable. As far as I was concerned, the home in question is a suitable home. And if the caregivers were willing to take the boys then that was where they should go.
So on Friday as we were waiting for mom to join our meeting the social worker that was on the case couldn’t make the meeting so her supervisor was attending in her place. As we were talking about the possible placement this supervisor says to me “it’s too bad we can’t find family available for the boys” all the while in the back of my mind I’m thinking of my oldest daughter but she lives in Washington State, which is a different country, not to mention the COVID pandemic. But I tell, him that their grandmother would love to take them. He wanted to talk with her so I called her and she told him that she wanted the boys. His comment was “let’s make it work”. He gets on the phone, we end the meeting at noon and by 4:00 pm he calls and says the paperwork is done and as soon as he can give us the paperwork, the boys will go to grandma’s home. Clothes were packed, and loaded in the car and the boys were on their way to be not only with grandma and grandpa they were going to be with their older siblings. I am happy and thank my daughter brought her grand nephews in with her family, I thank the Sr. Social worker for helping to make this happen so quickly, I thank Bill C-92 The ACT for giving us the tools to be able to do what we had to, and lastly the Creator for looking after us.
Yalh yexw kw’as hoy - thank you with the utmost respect.
