15/06/2026
FATHER’S DAY FEATURE
THE SILENT BURDEN: Fathers, Mental Health and the Hidden Road to Substance Abuse
By Zambezi Stories
With expert contributions from Gerald Nyarambi, Senior Medical Psychiatry Social Worker
Fatherhood is often celebrated as a symbol of strength.
Fathers are expected to provide, protect, lead, and guide. They are seen as the pillars of the family ,decision-makers, role models, and problem-solvers.
Yet behind many strong faces lies a reality that is rarely discussed.
As Father’s Day approaches, mental health experts are warning that many fathers are carrying emotional burdens in silence , burdens that can lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, family breakdown, and in some cases, even su***de.
THE WEIGHT OF RESPONSIBILITY
According to a mental health specialist interviewed by Zambezi Stories, one of the biggest challenges facing fathers today is the immense responsibility placed upon them.
“Being a father means being responsible for the wellbeing of the entire family. You are expected to provide for your wife, your children, and often extended family members. You are expected to lead by example and make difficult decisions. That burden alone can be overwhelming.”
In Zimbabwe’s challenging economic environment, many fathers find themselves under enormous pressure.
Highly qualified men often struggle to find employment in their areas of expertise and are forced to take whatever work is available simply to put food on the table.
“Financial constraints are among the biggest mental health challenges facing fathers today,” the specialist says.
Many men also feel pressure to meet cultural expectations such as paying bride price, building homes, educating children, and securing a stable future for their families.
Mental health practitioners say these expectations can create chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and feelings of inadequacy.
WHY MEN SUFFER IN SILENCE
Despite these pressures, many fathers do not seek help.
Instead, they suffer quietly.
“Men are often taught that they must be strong at all times,” says the specialist. “Unfortunately, that silence becomes their greatest weakness.”
Unlike women, who are often encouraged to express emotions openly, many men grow up believing that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness.
The result is emotional suppression until problems become overwhelming.
“Men have emotions and vulnerabilities too. We need to remove the stigma around seeking help. Silence can slowly destroy a person’s mental wellbeing.”
ONE FATHER’S STORY
For one father who spoke to Zambezi Stories, the collapse of his marriage marked the beginning of one of the most difficult chapters of his life.
“The hardest part was missing the simple things,” he recalls. “Playing with my children, going shopping with them, helping them with homework. Those are the moments that hurt the most.”
Like many men, he struggled to talk about what he was going through.
“I’ve always been a one-man band. I keep my problems to myself.”
At first, he buried himself in work.
But eventually, the emotional pain began to take its toll.
“It was work, home, sleep. Then I became a heavy drinker. Later I realized I was heading down the drain.”
His turning point came when colleagues noticed changes in his behaviour.
“My workmates realized I was regressing. They shared their own stories with me, and that helped me start picking myself up again.”
Today, he hopes other fathers will learn from his experience.
“It’s not easy when something you worked for suddenly falls apart. But don’t give up. As long as you’re alive, you can start afresh and become better again.”
DIVORCE, TRAUMA AND THE LOSS OF FAMILY
Mental health specialists say divorce and separation can be deeply traumatic for fathers.
Many men invest years building homes, supporting families, and planning for the future. When relationships break down, they often experience grief, loneliness, uncertainty, and emotional distress.
Some fathers struggle deeply with reduced contact with their children, and the psychological impact can be severe.
Without adequate support systems, many are left to cope alone.
WHEN EMOTIONAL PAIN TURNS INTO SUBSTANCE ABUSE
Experts also highlight a strong link between emotional distress and substance abuse.
While drugs and alcohol may appear to offer temporary relief, they often worsen mental health conditions.
Substance use can impair judgement, increase impulsive behaviour, and contribute to violence, financial instability, and family breakdown.
Money that could support a family’s wellbeing is often redirected toward sustaining addiction.
The irony is that many men begin using substances to escape pressure , but end up trapped in even greater pressure.
THE MISSING SUPPORT SYSTEM
A recurring concern raised by both fathers and mental health practitioners is the lack of safe spaces for men to speak openly.
Many fathers have limited opportunities to share personal struggles without fear of judgement.
Mental health advocates are calling for more community-based support groups where men can talk, learn coping strategies, and seek help before problems escalate.
“Men need safe spaces,” says the specialist. “Places where they can talk without fear of judgement.”
WARNING SIGNS A FATHER MAY BE STRUGGLING
✓ Increased alcohol or substance use
✓ Withdrawing from family and friends
✓ Persistent sadness, anger or irritability
✓ Changes in sleeping patterns
✓ Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
✓ Feeling hopeless, trapped or overwhelmed
✓ Neglecting responsibilities at home or work
✓ Talking about giving up or loss of meaning in life
A FATHER’S DAY MESSAGE
As Father’s Day approaches, the specialist offers a simple reminder:
“Be brave enough to seek help. Being strong does not mean carrying every burden alone.”
For the father who once struggled after divorce, the message is equally powerful:
“Don’t forget your children. They were never part of the conflict. Continue to love them, support them, and be present in their lives.”
NEED HELP?
If you or someone you know is struggling with drug and substance abuse, depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges, help is available.
📞 NO TO DRUG AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE HELPLINE: 0714 647 002
Remember: seeking help is not a sign of weakness , it is a sign of strength.
Perhaps that is the lesson at the heart of this Father’s Day.
The strongest fathers are not those who never struggle ,
but those who find the courage to heal.
