Abuse-Domestic Violence & GBV - South Africa

12/12/2023

It has been sometime since I posted anything, but when I came accross this I felt this could help someone realize and identify abuse.
It is a feeling you cannot shake.
This is a big sign that you are being Abused.⛔️⚠️
THIS IS NOT NORMAL‼️

20/11/2023

Be awake to your intuitions and feelings of uncomfortabilty.

20/11/2023

Subject:
ABUSERS
As per previous posts I have touched on what Abuse is, so now I would like to touch on who and what an Abuser is.
Social media users on platforms such as Facebook and TikTok to name but two, would want to spread a narrative that certain antisocial personality disorders are the main causes of Abuse.
The single most refrenced antisocial personality disorder peddled as cause of Abuse is Narcissism. The believe that the own self is more valuable than any other person, their existence, experiences or emotions.
This falls into the cluster B group of antisocial personality disorders together with Sociopathy and Psychopathy.
My opinion is that although these disorders definitely lead to Abuse, they are not the sole precursor to Abuse.
Abusers are predominantly not people who suffer from an uncontrollable mental illness whereby they are unaware of their actions and the damage and pain it inflicts. Those that are diagnosed with any antisocial personality disorder or other mental illness where reasoning and logic and understanding of the societal morality structures are not inhibited, cannot deflect blame to their disorder for Abuse.
My opinion is that Men have become insecure in their own social standing in Society where Women in general have become more independant and career orientated and breaking down the misconceptional barriers that Men are the dominant s*x and that Woman should stay home and raise children.
So I am stating to any Woman who may read this; don't diminish yourself and your capabilities for any Man. Even if you love them, don't be blind.
Look for actions and behaviours that are being projected onto you as a Woman for their failures or insecurities. If they cannot acknowledge their wrongdoings, they will try and force you to become less. This is abuse, and not love.
So in conclusion. An Abuser is any person who will try and take away from you any part of yourself in any way possible to make you less than you are as a person in your own right as a Woman.
Unfortunately the majority of Abusers are Men .
Love yes; but at the first sign of control being forced on you, or you are being subjected to feeling guilty for something you know you are not,... Walk Away!

18/10/2023

07/09/2023

So I realized from the beginning when I created this page that a lot of people may not agree with what I say or post, and I am fine with that.
I advocate for those who need support in breaking free from Abuse and who suffers the consequence of Domestic Violence and GBV.
Yes, I only advocate for Women,... so no apology issued to any man who might find this offensive for some or any reason.
That in itself would be questionable because why would you as man NOT want to stand up for Women when this is done to them by other Men.?

06/09/2023

For every Women in South Africa and the whole World.

06/09/2023

It has been a while since I posted, and mostly it has been life that intervened and many things to take care of, but what I feel passionate about is always on my mind. How can I make a difference today?
So today, I need to say this. If you are a Woman of any age and you are feeling that whatever you do in your relationship has to be making sure your husband or boyfriend is happy, and you feel that you are putting in more than they are into the relationship, you have to start looking deeper into the relationship.
Healthy relationships is not unbalanced in the amount of effort being put into it.
Work stress and pressures are not excuses from any man to be laid back and require the focus to be on them. Woman for very long has been experiencing the same stress and pressure and has been still required to take care of the home.
Men in these days, no matter their age, need to step out of the mould prepared for them by a patriarchy of old men whose main aim was to make women feel less than men.
Why, because they knew that Women were far stronger in so many ways than men.
So, today, take a moment and evaluate your input into your relationship. Step back, and put the love for the man in your life to one side for a moment, and start looking at the small things that you might be missing. This is especially needed if you have realized that your main aim was and is to make the man in your life happy, but you don't experience an equal effort for most of the time you had been together.
Healthy people acknowledge bad patterns and behaviour, but toxic people will always try and turn the shoe around to fit you.

24/08/2023

WHO IS AN ABUSER?
In my opinion, the term " Abuser " is not nearly descriptive enough of the damage caused by the myriad of levels of abuse that could be perpetrated.
From the Oxford dictionaries an Abuser is described as follow:
1. a person who treats another person or animal with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
"abusers often control the victim's access to friends and family"
2. a person who s*xually assaults someone, especially a woman or child.
I see words like CRUELTY, VIOLENCE, CONTROL & ASSAULT - So does the word "Abuser" really encompass the meaning of what these other words bring to picture in your mind?
Literally an Abuser is thus a person prone to Violence, a person that kills, assault, and hurt their victim.
One of the Thesaurus synonyms for Abuser are “Thug”, and then when we look at the Oxford languages definition of Thug, it gives us this!
“a violent, aggressive person, especially one who is a criminal”.

So in a nutshell, the Abuser is a criminal, and under the Domestic Violence Act, it is described as a Criminal offence.

21/08/2023

The New Domestic Violence Amendment Act 14 of 2021

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ?
Domestic violence takes many forms. People often think it only counts as violence if it causes physical injuries, but domestic violence is more than just physical violence. Some kinds of domestic violence are:

> Physical (All forms of physical harm like hitting, kicking, slapping, pushing, burning, scratching, or shooting.)
> Sexual (Sexual assault or r**e)
> Emotional (Anything that negatively affects your emotions, like calling you names, threatening to harm you or your children, or making you feel scared or bad about yourself.)
> Psychological (Saying or doing things that harm you psychologically or mentally, like making you feel worthless, gaslighting you, or making you feel like you are ‘crazy’.)
> Verbal (Shouting, swearing, or anything that harms you verbally.)
> Economic (When you are harmed economically or financially. For example, the abuser steals your money, refuses to buy groceries, uses the money to control you, and more.)
> Intimidation (When a person threatens to harm you, your family, or your friends if you don’t do what they want you to. If they purposefully scare or bully you or pressure you to do things you don’t want. Psychological, verbal, and emotional abuse can be intimidation.)
> Harassment (If someone follows, watches or phones you all the time or sends you unwanted emails and messages even when you have asked them to stop.)
> Damage to property (If someone intentionally breaks your belongings or property.)
> Stalking (Someone following you or watching you without your consent.)
Entry into a person’s property without their consent (when someone comes into your property without your permission)
> Any other abusive or controlling behaviour where such conduct causes harm or may cause harm to your health, safety, or well-being.
* WITH THANKS TO:

Important changes to South Africa's Domestic Violence Act aims to decrease the overwhelming amount of GBV and violence against children.

18/08/2023

🛑SHOCKING CRIME STATISTICS RELEASED THIS MORNING 🛑 SHARE THIS POST TO GO VIRAL PLEASE

50 MORE CHILDREN and 40 MORE WOMEN AND WERE KILLED BETWEEN APRIL AND JUNE 2023 THAN IN THE CORRESPONDING PERIOD THE PREVIOUS YEAR.

These shocking statistics were released by police minister Bheki Cele to parliament’s police portfolio committee this morning.

MURDERS OF CHILDREN increased by 20.6% with 293 children MURDERED up from 243 during the same period last year. This translates to 50 MORE CHILDREN killed over a three-month period.

🛑97 CHILDREN ARE KILLED PER MONTH IN SOUTH AFRICA!

MURDERS OF WOMEN increased by 4.7%. This means 40 MORE WOMEN were murdered up from 855.

Attempted murders also saw a significant increase with 238 MORE CASES registered from 1.179 – a 20% INCREASE.

Assault GBH cases clocked in at 12.872 from 11734 – a 9.7% increase.

According to statistics, r**e, s*xual assault and contact s*xual offences showed a decrease WHICH IS NOT a true reflection as not all these crimes are not reported.

We are shocked and this is a blow to the fight to tackle violence against women and children.

It is evident these crimes are completely out of control and women and children horrifically murdered at an alarming rate.

This is truly so upsetting we are still trying to make sense of the statistics.

One thing is for sure, we must educate women in the new Domestic Violence Amendment Act, get them away from abusers and ADULTS who know about CHILD ABUSE MUST SPEAK UP!

Our children are maimed in droves.

WE NEED THE SYSTEM DESIGNED TO PROTECT CHILDREN TO BE MORE EFFICIENT AND PROACTIVE. WE NEED POLICIES TO BE CHANGED OR MORE CHILDREN WILL BE KILLED.

WE CALL ON THE JUSTICE SYSTEM TO REFUSE BAIL TO ALL PERPETRATORS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND CHILDREN.

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Photograph: Bheki Cele