The Ethicist

The Ethicist | Ethics Practitioner | Conflict Mediator | Humanitarian | Mohau Ngoepe also so runs a charity organization named "Mohau Cares".

15/01/2026

One of the greatest challenges in mediating conflicts is that people are rarely completely honest. They often mix truth with lies to justify their version of events, reshape the story to suit themselves, cast aspersions, and describe what they felt happened rather than what actually happened.

For this reason, most mediation approaches focus less on establishing absolute truth and more on helping each party get what they truly want — through negotiation and compromise.

12/01/2026

Trevor Noah said that a monk once told him that peace is more important than happiness, and that one of the ways we can achieve peace and contentment is by appreciating the things we once direly wished for, without stressing about the inconveniences that come with them.

He gives the example of a dream car that requires servicing, maintenance, and fuel — or a partner who once gave you butterflies in your stomach but can sometimes feel like a burden.

In essence, he was saying that we can find peace by appreciating the roses 🌹 we once desperately wished for, and by embracing the thorns that come with them.

16/10/2025

There is a famous story about two sons raised by an alcoholic dad...and one son never sipped alcohol because he did not want to be like his dad. The other one became alcoholic to be like him.

There are also people who are kind a loving because they never received love and kindness themselves, whilst others are hateful and unkind for the same reason.

So, you see...? People are who they want to be, and not necessarily who they are made to be by others. The next person can only give you an excuse to do/be what you always wanted to do/be.

23/09/2025

Just because someone told a lie 99 times, does not automatically make their 100th utterance a lie. Inversely, just because they told truth 99 times, does not automatically make their 100th utterance a truth.

Discern.

23/09/2025

A story version that makes the most sense could still be false. The one that does not add up may still be true.

Discern.

13/09/2025

When someone is hurt by your actions or words, you have only one obligation — to heal them with your words or actions. You do not get to decide that they were not hurt, nor that they weren't supposed to be hurt. Even if you did not intend to hurt them (in fact, more especially if you meant no harm), if they were hurt you have to apologise and/or make restitution.

03/09/2025

Using someone’s name while talking to them builds a personal connection and makes them feel valued. It boosts their mood and can make them more open to your ideas or requests.

As Dale Carnegie said, “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest sound in any language.”

27/08/2025

People in marriages should avoid belonging to groups or gangs. It does not matter if the gang is colleagues, churchmates, siblings and cousins, or friends. There is no way you will build a solid family through the opinion of some gossip crew.

If you can't stay out of the group (due to your low esteem issues), try to keep your marital affairs out of it. Gossip about your horrible boss, your drunk uncle, your homewrecker priest... when it comes to your marital issues, talk to your partner about them and resolve things!!

14/08/2025

Develop a level of self-awareness which increases your ability to manage your biases and prejudices...because we are all biased. As long as your identify as something (such as a particular religion, class, gender, etc.) you will be prejudiced against other alternatives...and it's normal. Your level of self-awareness is what will help you manage those prejudices, so that you can live in harmony with people who are different from you, and make choices that are different from yours.

05/08/2025

Most people are still deluded into thinking that being loved feels better than loving. Some find it 'safer' to do so. Then they choose to be with someone who loves them, and whom they do not love...and then they realize that nooo!...this isn't "it"...! They become unfulfilled, and mess begins.

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