From this point forward they will be known as "PSAs" (Public Service Announcements) to create the illusion that I have valuable information to provide free of charge. Something I learned from political problem-solving. Only Congress can declare war? Call it an "intervention". Only Congress can pass a law? Call it a "regulation". Illegal to bribe a Senator? Call it "lobbying". So...with my new-foun
d political correctness, I have decided to throw my hat into the ring as candidate for President of the United States of America. The job aint what it used to be but it'll be a nice stepping stone to my dream job, "King of the Universe". Now, one problem I have in running is I don't like seeing my name splattered all over the place, unlike another candidate whom I won't name, but his initials are Donald.Trump. Another problem is I can't run on either a Democrat or GOP ticket, because they both suck. So, I've decided to run on the Whig party ticket, and unofficially change my name to Harold Wiig. If I don't get an endorsement from the local paper of the same name, perhaps the SNL comedian Kristen Wiig will endorse me, or sue me, or both. Like the saying goes, "there's no such thing as bad publicity", unless you're Bill Cosby. So to roll out my campaign, here is the brand spanking new "Harold Wiig for President 2016" page. Thank you for your support and I approved this message.
