05/31/2024
My apologies that this is so long. Personal growth is something we should all be constantly striving for, as I’m sure you must be as well. If you can find a valiant and fearless energy towards yourself. I encourage you to invest the 5-10 mins into this post. Self growth has a million facets. Here’s one the world would be way better if everyone acted this way. Invest the time
And energy into yourself, reflect honestly about your mental health and social interactions. Please.. this is completely open forum for responses/questions.
So… Personal growth challenge I place on you if you are feeling courageous.
In your daily interaction, no need to do anything extra, just throughout the daily flow. Next time you make small talk with someone, they ask how you are, or say “whatsup”, instead of slipping into the usual stale and mindless conversation of “good, thanks, how’re you?” Then they say “good, thanks” and it ends with no real purpose behind the words exchanged. So here lies mindless empty engagement, challenge yourself to draw out more of a discussion.
Doesn’t have to be drawn out or time
Consuming, but reinstate meaning behind your words. Escape the mental cage of dull and dreary pointless small talk. Connect with your neighbors. It will help your mental health structure by being more realistic in your passive conversations with passer bys. As you begin to reshape your connection to society, discarding small talk, in place of realistic and sincere communication. As you establish your character more clearly defined in every day minor moments of expression with strangers and even family, you will begin to develop and proliferate a sense of confidence. Confidence will increase rapidly in your sense of self as you challenge yourself to be fully engaged in these brief and minor connections. Making these conversations be exactly that, a connection. Your sense of loneliness and “you vs the world” feeling will fade rapidly with each sincere expression of gratitude for each passing moment.
Some people are for lack of a better term, quite literally stuck in a “rut” of mindless small talk. They may even be shocked or surprised by your engagement and outreach. But do not feel dismayed about your choice to become more free and expressive. It’s as simple as “hey how’re you” and then you seize that moment for what it actually is. Begins with putting weight behind their words, receiving the question as if they are genuinely asking even though they are most likely engaging in mindless small talk. I’m not saying you go and dump your whole life of stress and trauma onto the Stranger. lol. Simply be yourself. A genuine and raw individual. “I’m not too bad actually, kinda struggling with blah blah. But I’m hopeful for blah blah. How’re you doing today? Got anything you’re looking forward too?”. When you become more alert and active in your life’s small talk expression, people will receive you much much better. You’ll be seen as a nice and friendly individual. A huge part of these minor conversations is to always remember to answer honestly first, if you’re not good, don’t say you’re doing good. This is dissociative. Bottling up. Struggling in silence. The balance between expressing struggles without overwhelming the individual takes practice, to keep it easy just remember to keep it simple. “I could be better, struggling with blah blah, how’re you?”. The next step of developing these passing conversations is to always remember to ask how they are. If you are really truly in turmoil and struggling, you can save that for someone in your support group and communicate that there openly. With the Stranger, simply express your honest feelings, and then in the same stroke, put the attention onto them.
People love to talk about themselves. Just like you are pushing yourself to express your honest feelings, when you express with sincerity the Q of “how are you doing?” More often than not, the Stranger will match your energy. You were open, they will be open. A subtle trick that I like to do, it’s not detrimental, it’s simply a sly way to express focus on their world. I like to ask them if they have anything they’re looking forward too. In minor conversations, the Stranger will have a subconscious desire to fulfill your question with a real answer, matching your energy. This causes them to think for a moment about things they are hopeful for. The positives in the near future. And bam, without any drastic change you just helped a Stranger think positively about their world. Much more sustenance over the mindless small talk. You got the chance to express your feelings passively, and hopefully so did they. Turning these minor and fleeting moments into something ever so subtly constructive for your psyche.
Just like that, you are on the road towards becoming a more positive and engaging individual. People gravitate towards those people. Embodying Positivity, Love, peace and kindness, even if you have to push yourself and fake it for a moment, I promise soon you will then make it. Life will no longer seem so pointless, as we discover every single soul passing by is a treasure chest. And we should be like Indiana jones, seeking to bring out the gems in everyone. Remember we’re all here on this planet, scared, stressed, overworked. Be the change this world needs. One passing conversation at a time.
