01/23/2026
We are back in the new year sharing the recovery journey of Erika Miller McGill – PCDC Graduate #39!
"The question, “What was my life like during active addiction?” is so complicated and hard to put into words, but when you think about it, was it really a life at all? The only thing that you think about day in and day out is that next high with no regard for anything else except drugs. I didn’t care about anything that truly mattered, and that only made my addiction worse.
When I entered Drug Court the first time, I made it six months before relapsing. When I relapsed, I knew it was the last time. The high was not the same, and the guilt was overwhelming, but I could not stop until I was arrested at my grandmother’s home. To be placed in handcuffs and watch my grandmother cry, all while visualizing my kids’ faces in my mind, I knew right then I would do whatever it took to stay clean. Something in my mind and in my heart knew that I was never going to pick up another drug. Normally, I was a handful when getting arrested and going to jail because I had no respect for anyone. But this time I was quiet all the way to the jail, and I could only think if the Judge would just give me a second chance, I would do everything to prove to her I needed Drug Court and could get sober. Judge Beckman was my lifeline, but I knew she didn't want to believe me, and why would she? Every opportunity she gave me, I threw it away, but I was determined to get it right, I needed to get it right.
I entered Drug Court for the second time in April of 2020. I was just 30 days clean and coming out of jail in a national lockdown. The meetings were all virtual, and everything was so different this time, but I put in the work, and things started to fall back into place. For the first time in a very long time, I was dealing with my brother’s passing, my childhood trauma, and all the resentment I held onto for so long. It truly felt like a weight was lifting off my chest and shoulders. I had a stable life and could see a better future.
I graduated in April of 2021 as PCDC Graduate #39, and the overwhelming feeling of my graduation was unreal. The tears wouldn’t stop falling, and the proud look on everyone’s face because I did it was priceless. I was released from probation later that year, and I was a little worried as this was the first time I would only be accountable to myself. But here we are, five and a half years later, and I am still sober with no lapse in recovery!
To say I am proud of where I stand today is an understatement. My life today is amazing! I am married to another graduate, and our life together continues to be a real-life testament to what recovery can do. I have custody of my children, and I have opportunities I never thought I would have. We are building an amazing life, and we owe that to Paulding County Drug Court. I am beyond grateful for someone believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. I owe Judge Beckman, Westwood, and everyone who was a part of my recovery a debt I can never repay."
