11/07/2025
What in the world are you doing? Read on.
📕 A mature student came in to the chaplaincy lounge and sat on a nearby seat while I was meeting a group of women on the sofas near the coffee table. He had picked up a Bible and was reading quietly.
When I realised he was there, I excused myself from the group and asked if he was comfortable, could I help him with anything?
We moved away from the group so I could speak up as he couldn’t hear me very easily.
His mother had died that morning at the age of 97. “Not unexpected, but still unsettling somehow.”
“Yes, I’d say so. What is her name?” I asked, very aware that he’d not yet be ready to refer to her in the past tense. -sigh-
We chatted further and he told me he was only up in Auckland on a block course and would head home to Christchurch to the new reality on Friday.
He asked if he could borrow the Bible for the week as he’d not thought to travel with one. I assured him he could and need not return it. He and his family had several at home, but maybe leaving the Bible in his room in the dorm might bless someone else. We settled on an easy to read New Testament. Bless him.
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🎶🎤 She laid on the floor and sang to Lui. I confess, I was a little annoyed at first as I needed to get some admin stuff done and I’d had steady student traffic through the lounge all day. But Lui seemed to like it and she was calm. She sang first in Chinese then later in English. After a while I saw her standing near the partition into my office area, obviously wanting to chat.
We moved away from the desk and settle down the sofas, tears already streaming down her cheeks, hard to keep up with under her glasses. She’d had bad news as to her progress in her practicum, and would have to repeat it if she hoped to complete her program. Her husband wasn’t happy about it. They were returning to their overseas home next week for a few months and now they didn’t have good news to share. She was ashamed. But she was also depressed and that’s partly why she didn’t complete her work promptly and well. Her husband was hovering and expecting her to rise to adult responsibilities, but she just couldn’t care.
Depression is like that; makes you not care, incapable of doing the next thing let alone the list you needed to get through before packing up and moving out of the apartment for a few months.
“He just doesn’t understand. I spoke of divorce again. I feel closed in and need to escape……. My parents are very traditional. They won’t understand. I’m trapped.” tears flowing. Some cultures have no vocabulary for mental illness, nor support.
I am very concerned about her wellbeing, especially unsupported when back in China. 🇨🇳
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🪷 I hadn’t heard from the chaplain at the city university for awhile so was glad to see his name on my phone. I answered, though it was my day off.
A Punjabi Sikh female student had been referred to him by Student Services as she’d been kicked out of her home for “not respecting the family’s cultural values.” Ok, so if she’s described as Sikh and they refer her to the chaplain, it’s not just cultural, it’s religious. Yes, there’s often an overlap, but let’s describe things clearly.
He was wondering who he could refer her to.
“Uhm, have you met with her yet to understand her situation from her perspective?”
“Uh, no. I thought I should refer her to a Sikh person.”
“Uhm, it seems she might be exploring beyond her circle, and it’s a small community so they’d all know her family and she’d not get much support from there. Meet with her. Find out what she’s after.”
“Oh, I just thought….”
“Are you a chaplain just for Christians, or willing to speak with anyone, especially someone who is possibly expanding their boundaries?”
He’ll get back with me next week to see how best to follow up. He’s expanding his boundaries a bit too, I’d imagine.
I’m praying for how their conversation will go and what God is doing.
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💬 “I need to process some overwhelming stuff and think it’d be good to talk with you. Could we meet? There will be strong emotions!”
This from a highly responsible person within a Christian organization. We agreed to meet the next afternoon, not wanting to put them off until the following week.
I prayed, tried not to run ahead by guessing what the issues would be. I arrived early so as to be calm, present and prepared.
We began well, clarified expectations, confidentiality and roles. I asked about their relationship with God, so I’d discern where/how to bring him in to the conversation.
Then it got real! Wow!
Personal convictions. Institutional pressures. Loyalties and fatigue. Annoying outliers who get heaps of attention while the majority just get on with the program. Support from higher ups, yet lack of understanding ….. and the inability to articulate things when embattled. Yeah, some strong emotions.
I came home weary, but pleased that, when the tide turned, the person left affirmed, a bit lighter, feeling respected and reasonable. I played my role of holding the space, bringing God into the flow in affirming ways, and sending his servant off better than I found them. I don’t know if that was chaplaining or pastoral supervision; possibly some overlap.
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💻 📋 I summarized, in an email to the church staff, all the places we’d met in for worship over the years, and how we had managed each transition well. We are temporarily in a different room in the jr hi school where we meet on Sundays. Most things went well Sunday; more things right than wrong.
I wrote affirming all their hard work and the decisions the rest of us knew little about, and especially affirming our logistics guy who has really felt the pressure lately. The stress has complicated his mental health, or maybe his mental health has made the stress harder to manage.
With a stage to set up, multiple instruments, sound board, road signage, communion, tea & coffee, children’s ministry areas….. it’s a lot being a portable church!
As a long term influencer in the church, I try to affirm and encourage whenever possible. I love catching the kids doing things well, and I tell them about it.
Next Sunday will be different and will involve different challenges, but the building is not the Church, we are. And we will gather to worship collectively. That is all. That is enough.
🗓️ ☕️ After the service I met up with a woman I had greeted earlier, asking her name as I’d didn’t think we’d met properly. This opened space for a conversation about how she was trying to reconcile what she knew from her Catholic background with what we did at Shore on Sundays.
Her friend Heather, another mom with kids the same age as hers, joined us. When I offered to meet with the woman to explore the overlap and the differences, Heather leaned in and said, “I met for years with Belinda to understand the Bible, the character and nature of God and who I am because of all of that. Jill discipled Belinda who then discipled me. This is perfect! You’re safe with Jill.”
Wow! What greater privilege, honor and acknowledgement could I receive? Without disciples you don’t have a church, you have a club. With disciples you have a movement that is unstoppable. Jesus said, “Go make disciples.” Ok then.
