07/28/2024
Compassion Fatigue
You are beyond tired; you are grasping at straws of hope: butterflies, caterpillars, horses, and the all too elusive rest.
“How did I get here?!”, you ask. You faintly recollect once believing that YOU could save animals; YOU could make a difference; YOU could change the world! And now, looking back, you would ask yourself, “What the HELL were you thinking?!”
Self reflection leaves you dumbfounded and deflated. You have been so busy defending what, how, and why you do what you do, that you somehow managed to lose yourself along the way.
Most people will never understand what it takes to do what you do. Hell, it’s too complicated for you to fully comprehend. But, they will judge anyway with a certainty as sure as the rising sun!
Just know, that regardless of how hard you try, you will disappoint and potentially inflame: too much there, not enough here; like hyenas tearing apart a kill.
Exponentially, your exhaustion and frustration overtake. And although you will think about it more often than sanity would permit, you will never give up.
Somehow nature keeps you hooked, like an addict, by dangling that next orphan that needs you. You’ve crazily tricked yourself into thinking that the life you save will fill that huge hole of sadness left behind by all the ones that didn’t make it. Okay, so maybe the critics are right after all, you are in fact delusional and crazy as hell!
As you collapse and long for sleep, you remind yourself that the animals you lose stay with you in some form that science can't explain; and you know, you will see them again!!!!
When you cry at night, you pray for guidance and for answers to questions that seem much bigger than you. As you drift off, you know there will be one hell of a party when you cross the rainbow bridge.
But, there is still a lot to do here; so, you will find a way to continue.
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